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i busta a cap/
in the back/
of this room/
and go boom/
watch you drool/
you think you're cool/
but you're justa fool/
sittin in school/
so here i go/
gonna busta flow/
cuz the call me slow/
and i just bust you cold/
you cant get ahold/
and you just got told/

once u wanna start sounding like a experienced rapper.. try increasing your vocabulary and stop using rhymes like:

[B]*oom
(room/boom)

*ool
(drool/cool/fool/school)[/B]
^that shits wack

try to rhyme words like
creek/sees
shots/tops
shit/thick

shit like that nah mean? when u use room/boom it sounds too much like the same word.. makes your lines lack..

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stick with around 12syllables a line.. give or take.. your lines are way to small..

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learn how to use [B]multis[/B]

like..


[B]back-talk/black-clock[/B]


so use a bar like


[B]i pack n spark n this dark room wita black-clock
act wack, get smacked, doods try n back-talk[/B]

i aint gonan spend time comin up with somethin good.. just want you to get what i mean.. that is a multi notice the two rhymes at the end of each rhyme. black-clock/back-talk

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[B]do those things and work on adding metaphors in your rhymes and you'll start to elevate[/B]


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