http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=144989
^^^my link showing my feedback

this goes out to all niggas willing to read all this........i'm just righting how i feel right now, it's a horrible last couple of days for me

check this out.........

somewhere in this world i know there's a perfect life,
nigga with mo niggas and they've got ambition to strife
what about the rest of us? what do we see on the street?
niggas raping each other, niggas jacking for new seats,
i cant believe this, how my whole life was well beaten
by player too fond of selves, have you wonder who made them
the reason and origin of sucker-free world was shapen
niggas with warm hearts molded to fit the criterias of Satan!

no wonder i was stressed when i walk into class with no clues
i couldn't do my work was i suffering from the blues?
i look round the class and all i see are dickheads and idiots
maybe in this place there would be one thats one in a million
things gets worse emotionally, this indian bitch stole my dough
i got a couple of hoes that has labeled me asshole
for what ever reasons do i have to deserve what i get
will i become one of them niggas who peeps are trying to forget?

for desparate measures, i wish i could start life again
where my lyrical textures improvements are dramaticly gained
i'm just speaking my mind, what DO i have to gain?
and yet there is frankly, no one to blame.....

those blasted black rappers, drastic white bastards
fucking round with me are frantic fantastics fucking my low status
the fact is, rappers seem to all have horrible living
makes me want to relive those ill moments which had filled in whats missing
we niggas aren't gonna let intentions turn to the center of attention
we wish to be listed under those of honorably mentions
why am i here while undeserving niggas living in multi million mansions?
i'm not to blame where i'm born, yet i'm labeled under useless inventions
in my final years, i'm gonna make sure i can fight this
who ever find this is gonna show that we can strike fists
so let's ditch out the wrongfuls and put in the righteous
who knows, maybe we could finally put a end to this crisis.........

yeah..........

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i want some feedback on what i can improve on..............so holla back

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yo man you need to fix yer stucture a bit cuz yer stucture fucks the flow up but you got good wordplay n shit 7/10 overal nice drop

word play wus good, personnaly i think it could use jsut a bit more
the structure fucked u up though, it fucked up the flow, so work on that and keep tryin. 6.5/10

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IM BACK BITCHES

uppin............................................. .........

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coo man keep droppin hey nice sig may the force be wit you no hate man...

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^^^lol, well at least the kid was honest!

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