Battle Rules:

10-16 Line's
No Crew Votes
No Recycling
No Biting
No D/R

Topical:Stuck In The Trenches Of War

Minimum posts to vote: 20

Check in by: 10-24-04 at 09:15 AM

Must drop verse in 2880 minutes after check in.

Poetikal Panda has ACCEPTED this battle on 10-24-04 08:45 AM.

Dopeman has ACCEPTED this battle on 10-24-04 08:46 AM.

Here Go's
Tear's Of My Fellow Soldier Plummet & Embrace The Blood Soaked Soil-
Soldier's Heart's were Worn-Torn Blood Pressure's Continued To Boil-
In My Mind i was Thinking"How Could Mankind Engage In This Destruction?"-
Knowing that Every Life was Cherished By a Loved one and Was Just a Reduction-
Shell's Were Propelled By Steel Gargantuan Beast's Known as Tank's-
Weapon's Of War & Emotion's Dissolved The Sanity In Our Rank's-
I Glanced at The Corporal, His Eye's Were Glazed & Stained By Vision's Of Companion's Life's Ceasing-
The Trenches Were Filled By Tension I the air,The Morality & Committment Was Rapidly Deceasing-
Crackle's and Twisted Scream's Were drowned Out By the Distinct Din Of Shell's-
The Army Training was a Diminished Picture Compared to The Trenches & Battlefield which was Embraced By Yell's-
Distorted, Mutilated Body's Lay Decapitated Littered Among The Trenches Being grieved by Soldier's-
Some face's were Traumatised Unready For the Task Ahead,Emotion's expressed by a Stoney texture,Like Boulder's-
I did'nt Choose This Path I was Sent To Militart School and Drafted at 18-
I was sent away To Clear My head-Of The Memorie's Of My Aborted Baby-

Okay Sorry some Line's were mad stretched,But Oh well...G'Luck....

its been over 3 weeks, stuck in the trenches
nothin to do but press benches
constantly paranoid, thinkin about the outcome
waitin on the enemy as my heart beats like a drum
i race an i pace as fellow soldiers sit n wait
its mid october, i wont make it home for christmas at this rate
theres not a thing i can do, i miss my friends an my family
of course the battles on my mind, but my girls pictures beside me
i know with her by my side, i can pull thru this
even with the explosions an bloody murder, i still miss her kiss
theres not a day that goes by i dont reminsice
prayin on the day the general says we're all dismissed
an when i head to the battle field i stay in hope
cause wars like a tightrope
u may fall or u may be victorious
but for now, i'm still stuck in the tretches an its nothin glorious

Aight Good Verse...Uppin sorry ....My Line's Were Fuckin' Mad stretched AGAIN lol....

lol, its aight...
i'm not eve sure how topicals work, dunno if stretched lines is a flaw in topicals?
this my first ever topical, so uhhhh, its a lil half assed lol
an i'd say g'luck to you, but uhhh, i got murderd

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Uppin for this Peep's Dont' Sleep ..........

Upping for Vote's Peep's C'mon don't Sleep On this...........

Voted For: Poetikal Panda

dis wa an ez win fo panda his vocab wuz much stronger an it wuz much moe enjoyable to read. hands down without a dang doubt panda got this an dopeman u r whakked az fukk at topical so give up lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

improve your typing jackass ^^^^^^

uppin for votes

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Voted For: Poetikal Panda

everything to conclusion here.......
structure (just).a lil stretched,the content and depth was definately more in conclusions peace....you have good vocab which adds to the depth, and your imagery is better.

dopeman.
well you said u didnt want to battle me in topical coz u felt u was too good......well....your verse was very newbish....the structure was well off, vocab was too basic.
content/imagery was ok, nothing special...
you need to elevate a lot...from a guy with as many battles as u have,id expect more.

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vote on these and a honest vote will be returned

re~verb vs legion (topical)
re~verb vs shard (text)

that was my first ever topical
but okay...........................................

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Voted For: Poetikal Panda

oh shit this is fuckin crazy, both verses were so different but both made a great impact, conclusion or poetikal panda whatever your called had a great verse about the war and awsome wordin and great detail, fantastic. and dope i liked yours alot because you delt with the other side of war the family and shit mad tight both of you so it was hard to decide so conclusion or poet panda whatever your name is i give it to you just because of the detail and fuckin insane wordin, i cant waitto see more of your shit. dope yours was tight too for real, and i've voted for you on some of your battles so you know im makin an honest vote here, but again both of you did awsome, i really like that this wasnt a diss battle, somethin new finally.

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