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11-12-04, 09:58 PM | #1 | |||||||
Still Spectacular, Yes!
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Youngstaz Dreamz
IP: 3C8B 6C28
destructive paths to unhoping futures that tear away at all good construction of life within and souls witout a care or dream and face a reality that holds no promise for abundant riches or gold or cars or extreme fame and young people want a life they can't have because of the limits they put on themselves
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Jus Incredible Lyrics -What God Has For Me..Is Meant For Me. II COR. 12:9
And He Said To Me, "My Grace Is Sufficient For You, For My Strength Is Made Perfect In Weakness." Therefore, I Will Rather Most Gladly Boast In My Infirmities, So That The Power Of God May Rest Upon Me. |
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11-14-04, 04:52 PM | #2 | |||||
<<-Carpe Noctum->>
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IP: 0825 899A
This poem lacked structure and flow, you should try to explore more vocabulary and really try and feel yourself when you write, this could have used more words as well, keep elevating and drop more...1
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"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" O Y D *FluidMusic* *Poetic Scriptures Moderator* |
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