Now my heart has wandered out too far for me to walk it back
So I relied on my train of thought but it’s coming off its tracks
The clocks are cracked so with time shattered I force ahead
I feed my thirst only with tears but now that source is dead
The smoke has spread; I squint like when awoke from bed
I asked God to help me but in the reply fate spoke instead
Provoked by death it lighted a path retracing back to the past
So I sailed through my mistakes without the slack or a mast
It happened too fast; reality struck me with a smack and a blast
Emotion was dripping out a side of me like a crack in a glass
Laughing at last, I relived ignorance chasing my reason around
The changing seasons swinging my feelings like a playground
But it’s too late now; my future has already grown grey and torn
Because my decisive mistake came for me on the day I was born

let me get sum feed back on this

this was a cool peice wasnt all that other shit you hear on here so i give it a 8/10 get at mine yo

__________________
SIGNED RAPPER YOU LOOKIN AT

uuuuuuuuuuuuuppppppppppppppiiiiiiinnn............. .

pretty good....7/10...you prolly be decent at topicals..
i liked the content...but flow fell off in areas...

__________________

i'll play on ya consience, ya contents is complete nonsense
speak of biting, then you fucks flip everyone of my damn concepts
what the fuck, was you high..?
did you think i wouldn't recognize lines that i made
then you come up some bullshit tryna prove that im gay...!
.
.
fake fucks..move on...!

Wuz A Good Piece All Around.good Topic,vocab,wordplay,flowed Well.9/10
Keep Em Comin'

__________________



I'm like CHUCKy dyin' to live in the flesh free of the BATTERY,
ASSAULT n ROBBERY rapidly,wishin' cupid would clap at me
N lift this evil spell so I can experience happilly evil backwards-see(down there)
EVIL............backwards =............LIVE

sickness.

for being a new guy i think you ripped it. i especially liked your multies brotha...they hit the mark. good shit, i look forward to peepin' your work in the future. keep it up homie. oner.

...if you got the time, drop a response to my latest open mic (tighten the noose). its a quick keystyle for some broad named hangman. let me know what you think.

.....s.v.

__________________

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nick Fletcher. I don't drive an Eclipse, they're chickmobiles.

QUESTION: Is it even possible to improve upon perfection???
ANSWER: CRHYME SINDICATE



"I remember this one time I thought I was wrong........but I was mistaken." -Unknown




R.I.P. Jonathan "ONE MAN BAND/TERUMOTO" Nigro. Goodbye brother. God bless the dead. One love.

nice verse hommie....
flow was good...
creativenesss was good...
topic was good...
u focused on the topic which was good...
all around tight...

8.5 outta 10

peep my collabo open mic its called * u knew it was gonna happen violent type collabo *