Kinda deep check it...


Story #1

tragedy befalls a family of four, son killed in a drive by
before he died he pleaded “no more”, that was his last cry
sixty-four people show at the grave, blessing the deceased through tears
sixty-four more people for hate to enslave, to drive to unheard of fears
showing up at the scene was the killer himself, not knowing he was the man
right after the shots he fled to protect his wealth, on first instinct he ran
now he’s stuck crying at the loss of his friend, wondering who shot his boy
now he’s stuck crying out for revenge, as he gets further stuck in hate’s ploy
four days later this murderer figures it out, four days later he sees the dirt
hung himself so he wouldn’t shout, and so the blood wouldn’t spurt
another family of four reduced to three, another broken hearted mother
another awkward family tree, another sister without a brother
and we return to that fateful burial place, two graves slabs lying side by side
two kids who died by one face, hates omnipotence again tragically cried

Story # 2

seventeen people come together, ready to witness a gang initiation
cold and windy—harsh weather, but there couldn’t be any contemplation
forcing a kid to slit his wrist, and for no purpose but to give him a crew
kid bleeds as death was kissed, all this just to gain the hate that would ensue?
everyone cheers, but he’s still bleeding, wondering when it will stop
he’s caught wondering where it’s leading, when someone hands him a mop
and says “nigga, clean up the sidewalk, we can’t let the cops know"
“once its all good, then u can talk, but u gotta stop this blood flow”
time was passing by quick, this kid was starting to get weak
his pain was starting to stick, so feeble he could hardly speak
kid passed out an hour after, and no one was there to lend a hand
18, and he never hear laughter, because he hung with peeps of high demand
gang initiation gone bad, another case where hate is central
another kid stuck to the fad, when fads are where hate is essential

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RV's Only 3 Time Topical Tourney Champion

werd...deep, shit is tight man, got no hate on it vocab good,creativity,etc. keep doin ya thing peace

check out my first topical wen u get a chance thanks
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=161856

o aiiiiight nice vocab and flow nice emotions and da feelings i really felt here on tha piece

my fav stort was the 2nd one it was really deep *nuff said*

drop an feedback in my open mic

"expressing freestyle"

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THE SLEEP & THE DREAM-

SEE THAT EMPIRE WERD~!

P.S.A

COMING SOON-GODS BETRAYL
OUT NOW-THE SLEEP & THE DREAM

him
the concept is cool,emotion was quite there,with the imagery and detailed lines in this.....it was nice man...i liked the fact how you put 2 storys into one...that was creative..and made this peice quite interesting

9/10

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nice liekd both verse keep comin nice shit

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Illest Warriors

good look on feedback personally i think this was wack but i just typed anything

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RV's Only 3 Time Topical Tourney Champion

very good...9/10...emotion was there...vocabulary a bit not bad...very good tho...peep played angel if you havent