my first part :
we need to come up with some sort of ceasefire.
If it was an East Coast/West Coast or not
too many soljas on tha street gettin shot
we need to put a stop to this before it gets out of hand
stop this shit for your childrens furure try to understand
put away dem gats , that shit is for dirty rats
muhfuckerz from the gutter who be usin dem baseballbats
dont start killin the streetz , walk straight on your feet
follow the right path , give space for our children to breathe
nomore violence its guidin u straight to your grave
it aint bout surviving anymore , its bout being weak or be brave
we keepin the youngsta's inside
in times like this its just better to hide
playgrounds turned into battlegrounds
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imagin for yaself how a gunshot sounds
errything turns black in front of dem eyes
try to say sumthin to his parents before he dies
another youngsta left his beloved ones
ya finally earned the respect but now u gone
family of dem who has fallen already
we cauzin pain dont y'all get it
family of the fallen ones keep sayin " for once put ya sets away "
make sure there aint gone be another death today
can we please have a moment of silence
the lord took u under his guidence
new paths for u to cross
parents keep morning bout ur loss

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upping for this one
read & drop sum FEEDBACK
PZ

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it was decent mang but u could elevate on vocab...
think more then just inside the box as-well get more creative and shit...
its like ya thoughts was limited yea sometimes it happens to me but i get high till something new hits me like bird-shit N un-expectly flip-out quick like a nextel phone..

all around it was decent just focus more.......

6.0

drop feed back on my open mic http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=166048

^^ drop feed back