i spit words mentally for what they meant to be chemically assanite legislate my words contaminate ure brain like cocain drench u in propain slit open ure stomach and rip out the guts ure stomach contain through ya mind frame in the right time frame risin like the crime rate listen as i demonstarte my complaticated rhyme technique im on fire like trees in blistrin heat im litreally blistrin the beat im like a cell phone im out ya range i bring the pain im a dreament to the hip hop soceity u just like a bitch sworn to sabrity u never give up the good shit hood shit u couldnt spit even if u drank my piss im like a hit man u on my list callin out all m.c. who want to beef cause i got my gun cocked locked ready to let it go

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Clcik Hear To Hear My Music

ok man.....u seriously need some help here....lets start off with ur structure

well i have a question....?? does anyone believe in helpin cats elevate around here...u have 500 posts....someone shouldve told u somethin man

anyway.....ur structure helps the reader grasp ya flow......ok so next time write it like this if u want people to understand and find ya flow

ex....

commonly known to rip kids im bombin these gnomes//
make sure u understand me - this cat toppin me? - no//

see the ending bars??....signifies that ur endin ur rhyme right there.....called a structure/ rhyme scheme.......

another thing....since u have a laptop/computer....i take it that u have microsoft word.....use it for ur spellin.....makes it a lot easier for the reader to read as well with the right intended usage for spellin

now freestyles are cool.....but try gettin on some topical stuff...broaden ur horizons.....ull get a lot more feedback that way.......try selectin a topic like.....talkin about the govt......how ur feelin that day.......how ur mom struggles...or what u saw that amazed u.....talk about heaven ...somethin....and stay on topic about what ur writin......

thats all i can tell u as far as basics........this is comin from a vet.....im a newbie to the site....but trust me.....im waaaaaay far from new to the game

*winks*

hit my pieces hip hop warrior and final review up man....see what im on.....

d.a.

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this was alright....vocab was good....it didn't flow too good though probably coz of the structure....keep dropping....

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Thanks For The Feed Back People Uppin...

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Clcik Hear To Hear My Music

Uppin..........

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Clcik Hear To Hear My Music

Dont Sleep On This Uppin....

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Clcik Hear To Hear My Music

Puttin Bac Too The Top...

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Clcik Hear To Hear My Music

structure.

that will fix you flow and your rhyme's, cause at the moment your rhyme scheme isnt visible.

6/10, fix the structure and it will be dope. keep dropping. remember your link's