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View Poll Results: Who won this battle?
CopyWrite 2 28.57%
final 5 71.43%
Voters: 7. You may not vote on this poll

 
 
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Old 01-27-05, 02:59 PM   #1
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CopyWrite vs final

IP: D5FE 7245

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This is a topical battle.if you dont understand something in both verses DONT VOTE please...thanks

Topic : Deaths Struggle


Minimum posts to vote: 400

Check in by: 01-27-05 at 03:29 PM

Must drop verse in 720 minutes after check in.
 
Old 01-27-05, 03:00 PM   #2
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Copywrite has ACCEPTED this battle on 01-27-05 03:00 PM.
 
Old 01-27-05, 03:00 PM   #3
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final has ACCEPTED this battle on 01-27-05 03:00 PM.
 
Old 01-27-05, 06:12 PM   #4
Decree.
..Peruvian Cocaine..
 
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Topic-Death's Struggle


superior faces torn criteria of races feeble kind commited genocide
vaxine gasp's every breath corrupted molicues exumed like paroxide
fighting prevails useless frequently vast death thresh hold on man's nation
dark, shadows the wall provided the scene studders with english translation
a meir pawn revolutionized with little potential suicidal is his only credential
fear warrants vale situations amongst hesitations incripted essential
token of silence forsaken's violence harsh reprecusions are questionable
evil carrys many identity's majestic lies art of "tall tales" objects impressionable
technique's evolve mastered like poetic words death is forever captured
blood spilled for reason plastered vendettas carried out an raptured
infested diseases proclaim lives as was jesus crosses crucified
contested youths materialize homacide look and ask who survived?
divine addictions twined restrictions doomed prescriptions homeless evictions
all mark the end of a era unforgetable hard saught thoughts revinve deaths enetible
exumed expressions at fault reguarding times period laced without no gloves
death?just in our own minds scriptures fact non fiction confliction?we killin our own selves
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Old 01-27-05, 11:55 PM   #5
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It lingers and abandones organisms souls with ease
and effects everything...no measure to how deep the grief seeps
the dark light...exhausted walls crumbling is its signature
a spark from rusty pipes brightens the hallway listeners
a fluid of the deceased speeds to the unknowing victims
pissed off spirits cause shreaks and screams throughout the buildings system
the humans have trespassed an entrance to a world they cant grasp
locked and shackled they gasped to the fact that they cant go back
plotted a plan take the axe, strike the door till its impaled...
...sleak steel was noticed therefore the plan was to no avail
the spirits were coming...the humans position was locked down
but they ran, so not to be enslaved like dogs at an impound
a blurred light appeared to all and at that moment they gazed...
...jogged to it but was haulted by an unseen wall in a maze
ignited by fury there must be a way to get back home
nope, theyre stranded in the dimension known as the twilight zone...

Good Luck...
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Old 01-28-05, 02:00 PM   #6
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uppin............................................. .
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I cant buy clothes when the manikins are watchin" -Canibus
 
Old 01-29-05, 01:47 AM   #7
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uppin............................................. .
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"I dont go to malls cuz i dont like shoppin
I cant buy clothes when the manikins are watchin" -Canibus
 
Old 01-29-05, 10:51 AM   #8
Sean Gunner
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Voted For: final

Emotion-Didn't feel much emotion from either one of you. I think that Final gets this, but barely. Copywrite, some emotion, but not a lot.

Imagery-Final, decent imagery. Copywrite, had a lot of metaphors but almost no imagry. Work on imagry.

Structure-Tie, both had decent structure.

Vocabulary-Copywrite, kind of obvious you get this. Either your vocabulary is the size of a thesaurus, or you looked in one. Final, aight vocab, but inadequate compared to Copywrite.

Story Line-Neither really had one.

Flow- Final, decent flow. Your vocab helped it keep going. Fell off very little. Copywrite, didn't have any flow, at all. This would be an aight poem, but you had almost no flow.

Final, an aight drop. Not your best work though. Twilight zone thing is an ok twist, but not that great. Overall I liked it, but you've done better. 7/10

Copywrite, a topical has flow, a poem doesn't have to. Your vocab was good, except it threw off your flow to the point that you didn't have any. Listen to a beat and write a topical to that beat, because that is what a topical is. 4/10

No Hate Just An Honest Voter

v/final

One Vote, One Battle, One Win.
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Old 01-29-05, 03:19 PM   #9
Decree.
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i can tell personify doesnt know shit about topicals so.........shitty vote.........
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Old 01-29-05, 07:26 PM   #10
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uppin............................................. .dont bitch just because you dont get a vote...topicals arent about 100% vocab
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Most Recent Funniest Line
"I dont go to malls cuz i dont like shoppin
I cant buy clothes when the manikins are watchin" -Canibus
 
Old 01-29-05, 11:30 PM   #11
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Posts: 1,382
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From: Bronx, NY
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uppin............................................. .
__________________
The Council
Most Recent Funniest Line
"I dont go to malls cuz i dont like shoppin
I cant buy clothes when the manikins are watchin" -Canibus
 
Old 01-30-05, 01:20 PM   #12
Compose
 
Posts: 1,382
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uppin............................................. .
__________________
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Most Recent Funniest Line
"I dont go to malls cuz i dont like shoppin
I cant buy clothes when the manikins are watchin" -Canibus
 
Old 01-30-05, 07:14 PM   #13
Compose
 
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uppin............................................. .
__________________
The Council
Most Recent Funniest Line
"I dont go to malls cuz i dont like shoppin
I cant buy clothes when the manikins are watchin" -Canibus
 
Old 01-30-05, 10:16 PM   #14
anxiety
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This was feedback posted for Copywrite

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I laughed the second time you said "exumed"...

Ahahahahahahaha...
 
Old 01-31-05, 03:43 PM   #15
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Posts: 1,382
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From: Bronx, NY
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uppin............................................. .
__________________
The Council
Most Recent Funniest Line
"I dont go to malls cuz i dont like shoppin
I cant buy clothes when the manikins are watchin" -Canibus
 
 


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