RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 06-15-06, 01:15 PM   #1
Jonathon
The Write Weight
 
Posts: 449
Joined: Feb 2006
From: Word life = Poetry... bringing words to life.
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-0
The Blade That Wouldn't Cut (PV vs Appocolyptik)

IP: 1010 8A22

The Blade That Wouldn’t Cut

The past of this man, with a capsule blade in his hand
Hard for one to understand the pain he has went through
To live the life of a being, whose whole life has been bland?
But who knew, today his day’s end could possibly pursue
His troubles kept piling on one another, making it hard
For his brain to function correctly as hours kept passing
He goes to rehab; it only mocks the pain, scabs start to scar
As feelings commence, frustration and hatred remain clashing
If he had one wish, I’d be to get rid of this, and he can soon
With a deadly sip, with water in his glass, the pill is gone
Of course he knew what he did; he’ll be luck to last till noon
This poet seeks help, his pen and paper will help him move on

I’m dieing, I miss
My life, no longer exist
This thing, killing me
Within, did I commit a sin?

My rip cage aches
Lord forgive my mistakes
And why I do this
I regret it, I now fall abyss.


He awakens, losing all memory to where he was found last
Lost track of time, his name, and everything else in this world
Brain fried, know why? No clue where he was, forgotten past.
On top of all this, his body dismantled, suchlike it’s been hurled
Was this the work of an angel? The dose should have killed
Hells gates must have been full, and the heavens are filled
Or was it just luck? The pill should have just killed him, but
This crazy setting would be known, as the blade that wouldn’t cut
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-15-06, 01:29 PM   #2
Jonathon
The Write Weight
 
Posts: 449
Joined: Feb 2006
From: Word life = Poetry... bringing words to life.
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-0
IP: 1010 8A22

  Reply With Quote
Old 06-15-06, 03:15 PM   #4
The Gladiator
Light Weight
 
The Gladiator's Avatar
 
Posts: 307
Joined: Dec 2005
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 8E7F 1337

isnt this a song on the audio forum that speats did??

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=229868
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-15-06, 05:21 PM   #5
Jonathon
The Write Weight
 
Posts: 449
Joined: Feb 2006
From: Word life = Poetry... bringing words to life.
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-0
IP: 1010 8A22

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Gladiator
isnt this a song on the audio forum that speats did??

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=229868

Proactive Thoughts is Audio and Topical, therefor they have the same topics, totally diffrent verse though.

Oh, Rey, it was a 1212 rhymescheme, so every other line rhymed.
You're probably used to the 1122 rhymescheme, its more commonly used.
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-15-06, 10:31 PM   #6
Valerie
Can u guess 2v's Gender?
 
Valerie's Avatar
 
Posts: 7,895
Joined: Dec 2004
Status: Offline
Text Record: 12-5
IP: 6BB6 E242

I like it your flow was coo and everything to me it was a very very good drop keep em commin man I liked this.
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-15-06, 11:33 PM   #7
Jonathon
The Write Weight
 
Posts: 449
Joined: Feb 2006
From: Word life = Poetry... bringing words to life.
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-0
IP: 1010 8A22

no HoF nominations?


lmfao.. jp i half assed it.
uppin
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-17-06, 05:02 PM   #8
Jonathon
The Write Weight
 
Posts: 449
Joined: Feb 2006
From: Word life = Poetry... bringing words to life.
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-0
IP: 1010 8A22

uppin....
decent feed please
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-06, 12:32 PM   #9
Jonathon
The Write Weight
 
Posts: 449
Joined: Feb 2006
From: Word life = Poetry... bringing words to life.
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-0
IP: 1010 8A22

uppin
.........
  Reply With Quote
Old 06-24-06, 09:23 AM   #10
Yitksha
New to RV
 
Posts: 11
Joined: Jun 2006
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: A666 225F

Yeah This Was Pretty Nice Drop

Flow Was Alright, Interesting Way You Structured This To Grip The Flow, That Was Cool InItself and why the fuck am i talking in capitals
anyway
yeah the structure of the flow was interesting but the actuall flow itself was a bit bland, try and make it off the wall with multi-syllabic rhyming/add some half rhymes in etc


content wise i was feelin' a few of your lines:

Lost track of time, his name, and everything else in this world

Nice

As feelings commence, frustration and hatred remain clashing

that was cool, but it's only a foundation to develop some sick ideas..the remain clashing concept caught my eyes perhaps you could of linked in your feelings clashing with a clash of the titan ideas or added a w'play around the clash being the rock band

Ok Return the favour on my Horrorcore verse Ayperish when it's posted plz

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...254#post2777254

thanks

Last edited by Yitksha : 06-24-06 at 09:30 AM.
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:19 AM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.