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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
01-25-05, 02:33 PM
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#1
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.::Relaunched Original::.
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.::Meeting The Requirements::.
IP: E3CA 7CA2
Meeting the Requirements Most of you should know about this… A few minutes ago I thought I was on my way, One thing after another, material begins to weigh, Something is keeping me from filling this void, Future right in front of me, completely destroyed, It’s not fair to be condemned, just coz I failed chem, It’s those damn Requirements, everybody hates them, It feels as though the teachers are after my dreams, Try to cry out to ‘em, do they not hear my screams, In me a flame of hatred burns towards the public, The nation along with democrats and the republic, Advocate no way out, no chance to make it in life, No option to have a family with 2 kids and a wife, But its not there fault that I came down this road, Has to be a way out, just let my imagination load, I can’t be the one to blame them, only person is me, Through all this I just can’t stand to be on my knees, I started to think, which would make my fam proud, To see me succeed or levitating towards the clouds, What do I do? I had no idea what alternatives I had, Will I stay another year? Will I be an undergrad? All these questions flowing rapidly through my mind, Failure will be the result of what I delicately entwined, Just then it hit me, like this preference was just on delay, Instead of walking, I can accept a diploma another day, just a lil something to shake off this dust...took bout an hour.. Last edited by Lyrikal.Havok : 01-25-05 at 03:03 PM. |
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01-25-05, 02:43 PM
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#2
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.::Relaunched Original::.
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IP: E3CA 7CA2
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01-25-05, 03:13 PM
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#3
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.::Relaunched Original::.
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IP: E3CA 7CA2
uppin for some feedback...
__________________
.::Open Battles::.
Text Lyrikal.Havok vs CompleX 1-0 Topical Lyrikal.Havok vs CompleX 0-0 Audio Lyrikal.Havok vs Marvelis 0-0 Non-Phixional Con.tentz .::Leader Roster::. [.K.onfliktz][Celestial][Pop Lotty][9th Degree][Nostradomus][Lyric][Tha Q][Lyrikal.Havok] |
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01-25-05, 04:34 PM
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#4
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.::Relaunched Original::.
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IP: E3CA 7CA2
uppin...........
__________________
.::Open Battles::.
Text Lyrikal.Havok vs CompleX 1-0 Topical Lyrikal.Havok vs CompleX 0-0 Audio Lyrikal.Havok vs Marvelis 0-0 Non-Phixional Con.tentz .::Leader Roster::. [.K.onfliktz][Celestial][Pop Lotty][9th Degree][Nostradomus][Lyric][Tha Q][Lyrikal.Havok] |
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01-25-05, 07:08 PM
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#5
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.::Relaunched Original::.
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IP: E3CA 7CA2
uppin are you serious...no feedback yet...jeez..
__________________
.::Open Battles::.
Text Lyrikal.Havok vs CompleX 1-0 Topical Lyrikal.Havok vs CompleX 0-0 Audio Lyrikal.Havok vs Marvelis 0-0 Non-Phixional Con.tentz .::Leader Roster::. [.K.onfliktz][Celestial][Pop Lotty][9th Degree][Nostradomus][Lyric][Tha Q][Lyrikal.Havok] |
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01-25-05, 08:42 PM
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#6
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.::Relaunched Original::.
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IP: 29DB 69F4
man....uppin....for the first feedback.....
__________________
.::Open Battles::.
Text Lyrikal.Havok vs CompleX 1-0 Topical Lyrikal.Havok vs CompleX 0-0 Audio Lyrikal.Havok vs Marvelis 0-0 Non-Phixional Con.tentz .::Leader Roster::. [.K.onfliktz][Celestial][Pop Lotty][9th Degree][Nostradomus][Lyric][Tha Q][Lyrikal.Havok] |
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01-25-05, 08:50 PM
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#7
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: 5043 32F4
its alright not to much emotion in it but the imagery was good and so was the stucture i liked the first verse more then the 2nd part of it but you seemed to lack emotion and vocabulary try working that into your verse if you had vocabulary and emotion both in there alot more you would prob be one of the better topical heads on this site...or jsut dope...iunno but anyway good flow and the imagery was great good creativty...this was a alrighty peice....good job..
yo man check my single Until The End you might learn some stuff like emotion but i think you know it you jsut dont do it lots but i use lots of vocab...or if you wanna really see my skills look at my battle vs. Personify i can do better but i knwo what i need to win...but yea link for the OM's check the sig...my battles are in EFL..im not saying for you to vote im asking you to check it out maybe leave feed dont matter |
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01-25-05, 09:02 PM
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#8
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.::Relaunched Original::.
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IP: 29DB 69F4
ill do it later...thnx for the feedback..but yeh it was only an hour of thought...during class...so i didnt really care too much...but anyways...
__________________
.::Open Battles::.
Text Lyrikal.Havok vs CompleX 1-0 Topical Lyrikal.Havok vs CompleX 0-0 Audio Lyrikal.Havok vs Marvelis 0-0 Non-Phixional Con.tentz .::Leader Roster::. [.K.onfliktz][Celestial][Pop Lotty][9th Degree][Nostradomus][Lyric][Tha Q][Lyrikal.Havok] |
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01-27-05, 03:01 PM
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#9
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.::Relaunched Original::.
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IP: E3CA 7CA2
can some other people critique this plz....
__________________
.::Open Battles::.
Text Lyrikal.Havok vs CompleX 1-0 Topical Lyrikal.Havok vs CompleX 0-0 Audio Lyrikal.Havok vs Marvelis 0-0 Non-Phixional Con.tentz .::Leader Roster::. [.K.onfliktz][Celestial][Pop Lotty][9th Degree][Nostradomus][Lyric][Tha Q][Lyrikal.Havok] |
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01-27-05, 03:12 PM
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#10
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..Peruvian Cocaine..
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IP: 2E43 6BFE
was alright nothin special...
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01-27-05, 03:20 PM
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#11
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New to RV
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IP: 8AEB A054
Quote:
Dont ever say that again. You homo poet. |
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01-27-05, 03:57 PM
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#12
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.::Relaunched Original::.
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IP: E3CA 7CA2
lol....but um yeh it was like my first one..but um yeh more critique plz...and some ways to elevate..
__________________
.::Open Battles::.
Text Lyrikal.Havok vs CompleX 1-0 Topical Lyrikal.Havok vs CompleX 0-0 Audio Lyrikal.Havok vs Marvelis 0-0 Non-Phixional Con.tentz .::Leader Roster::. [.K.onfliktz][Celestial][Pop Lotty][9th Degree][Nostradomus][Lyric][Tha Q][Lyrikal.Havok] |
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