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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
06-22-05, 08:24 AM
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#1
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WhoAreYou?
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Stalker
IP: A181 D033
Everywhere i go i turn around and see her staring, Holdin a bunch of flowers in her hand while she be glaring, Cold looks lookin dead in my eye penetrating deeply, These days i'm so shook i've stopped feelin sleepy, Taken over by insomnia, dis cannot carry on, Stalkin my ass for a year i don't know what she wan' (wants), One time she set me her digits, but i didnt call, Then i felt her prescence hit me like a brick wall, Came up to me askin why i didn't phone her back, I told her ass i had a chick thinking that was that, Now i'm gettin poison penned letters from her ass, Fuck that i rolled out from my yard real fast, At the red i see a car pull out from behind me, Shit i thought i lost her, how did tha bitch find me? Look in her eye was cold as if if she saw red, Then i felt cold metal on the back of my head... Looks like i'm dead |
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06-22-05, 08:26 AM
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#2
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WhoAreYou?
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IP: A181 D033
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06-22-05, 01:40 PM
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#4
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Witness, 4 God, 4-Ever
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IP: 713B 86C0
this was interesting, something different, nice topic and you made everything flow real well, keep it up
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 i come from a time when you earned respect, for your rhyme and the way you made words connect, not the money that you made or the girls you sexed, a concept you obviously haven't heard of yet Mars Ill
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06-22-05, 03:48 PM
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#5
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Light Weight
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IP: 0DB3 4A20
lol, since i actually know a guy who was stalked this is sort of funny, yet, poignant. good job.
__________________
 Sig Provided by: Christianite 3 nails + 1 cross = 4given No matter how good you are there's always someone better. I'm not the status quo stereotype you want me to be. |
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06-22-05, 04:06 PM
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#6
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Flyweight
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IP: 3450 F354
yep i like this, tru ..... dis is a unique topic to choose an u portrayed it well also
....... liked the last bit... dam... she must b real desperate lmao . overall gud drop altho cud av been longer ,,,,, keep droppin hot #### - 1- replt to dis........clik link.........return d favour .....tnx http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=195552 |
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06-22-05, 04:37 PM
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#7
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New to RV
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IP: F385 4921
Aight look,,,,
That rhymin structure was hot, and the concept was different and well thoguth out. I'd work on vocab if I were you and add in some more similies, metas and that sorta thing... In other words, work on wordplay. Also, it coulda bin longer but that dont really matter. Good work.
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06-22-05, 07:01 PM
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#8
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WhoAreYou?
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IP: A181 D033
Yo thanks people.
uppin for more feedback people............. |
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06-23-05, 08:34 AM
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#9
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WhoAreYou?
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IP: A181 D033
uppin this piece.........
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