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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
07-15-05, 02:36 PM
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#1
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+...Femin-iLL...+
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Artik Phrost Presents: '.Rusty Bullets.'
IP: 6E69 7B24
im workin on my imagery and such....
.Rusty Bullets. ...As The Barrel Aims At This Dame's Main Frame The Only Thing In My Brain; MAKE HER CONTAIN PAIN... ...Images Swerve Under The Night Sky And I Puase The Bullet's Destination Has A Reason, But What Is My Cuase?... ...Hesitation Consumes The Essence Of My Gangsta Appeal Eyes Twitch; I Want To Scratch My Finger's Itch, But Her Eyes?..REAL... ...Staring Down The Darkness With No Fear Of Song This Gurl Breathes The Chilling Words..."Take Me Home"... ...Iris Flickers And Goes Dull As She Stares Cold A Rusty Image Pierces Thru; But A Hue Of Agony Is What Her Tears Hold... ...Gun Is At Her Aid And I See A Shadow Rise And Phade Lyke Her Reflection's Personifide; But Couldn't Comfort All Her Pain... ...My Body Shakes As I Aim Straight; Wonderin Why She's Smiling, B Then Its Lyke Trained Frieghts; My Soul Buckles Back As I'm Hit By Reality... ...I Stand Stiff; Sweat Floods Down My Brows And Soaks My Inners Cuz As I Drop The Gun From My Hands, I Realize...Its Me In The Mirror...
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..:: Artik In The Phlesh::.. .Re-Writing The Re-Run.  |
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07-15-05, 02:37 PM
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#2
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+...Femin-iLL...+
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IP: 6E69 7B24
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=200094
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=200046
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..:: Artik In The Phlesh::.. .Re-Writing The Re-Run. |
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07-15-05, 02:39 PM
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#3
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The Rise
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IP: DDE7 EADB
this drop had nice flow to it but structure was kinda bad....
feel me...vocabulary was nicely used...dope conept keep em coming homegirl....~1~ overall-8/10 RTF on my OM Last edited by -Cezar- : 07-15-05 at 02:57 PM. |
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07-15-05, 05:48 PM
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#4
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IP: 6D77 93CD
uhh wasnt too much here for me. it was like you were trynna use too much imagery or somethin and it messed up your flow. but you had good vocab and real nice imagery but idk i guess i was expectin more. but not bad. i give it a 8/10. keep doin ya thing and return the favor ya heard me....1...
__________________
 Open Mic's Lick Shots=Hitchcock feat Paul Cain and The Sick One Opposite of Cold= The Cartel Dear Others=Hitchcock Kill That Static=Hitchcock |
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07-16-05, 12:41 PM
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#5
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+...Femin-iLL...+
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IP: 6E69 7B24
^yu dont read cleary do yu?.....its says at the top....IM WORKING ON MY IMAGERY....thanx, though
__________________
..:: Artik In The Phlesh::.. .Re-Writing The Re-Run. |
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07-19-05, 02:46 PM
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#6
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+...Femin-iLL...+
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IP: 6E69 7B24
bumps this......
__________________
..:: Artik In The Phlesh::.. .Re-Writing The Re-Run. |
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07-19-05, 10:04 PM
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#9
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New to RV
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IP: E664 54A7
definitely dope .. i peeped this on HF ...shits hot
__________________
 .Wise Productions.
.Open Mics Commin Soon. Quote:
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07-23-05, 01:14 PM
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#10
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+...Femin-iLL...+
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IP: 6E69 7B24
bumpity bumps....
__________________
..:: Artik In The Phlesh::.. .Re-Writing The Re-Run. |
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07-24-05, 01:29 AM
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#11
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Witness, 4 God, 4-Ever
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IP: 2D02 1652
this was good, imagery was the main focus and was good, vocab was decent, structure was ok, keep it up
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 i come from a time when you earned respect, for your rhyme and the way you made words connect, not the money that you made or the girls you sexed, a concept you obviously haven't heard of yet Mars Ill
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08-01-05, 07:19 AM
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#12
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Odi et Amo
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IP: 1EAF 3328
Didn't know you dropped this in Open Mic forum, you definitely completed your mission with success. The imagery was strong, I could picture the scene in my mind with ease and you combined it with nice emotion as well. You're learning quickly for real girl, keep at it and the missions will begin again cause DQ is back from holiday
 Good going fam!
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Authentik Intelligence  ...The future is mine... |
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08-01-05, 11:33 AM
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#13
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~lyrical confucius~
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IP: 7591 D846
nice verse i liked it it was very strong man fellin this one keep up the good work cause u really tried hard and made a hot om
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Authentik Intelligence   vote on my battles and i will return the favor:
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