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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
08-28-05, 06:22 PM
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#1
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-BTR-
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Sabotage & Torch : Lord, Forgive Me
IP: 3240 794D
Lord, Forgive Me sabotage
Torch My knees are bruised and swollen from pleading for your forgiveness Calling out but you don't pick up the phone. I need assistance Sinful nature I've been living with force me to make desicions that Bring me down emtionally and spiritually. I can't live with that. The world and it's desires inspire me to conform With the ways of these people who do nothing more than adorn Drugs, violence and porn. I mourn thinking of my history It's evident I neglected you. But reasons are still a mystery Guessing it was just a piece of me. See I wanna live peacefully Reaching out. Desperate for strength that you will instill in me I meant to do good. Altogether I feel defenseless Senseless when I sin against you. So in repentance I pray for those I hurt wether in person or indirectly Pray they will respect me and you Jesus will accept me Is heaven the destination for my soul after my demise But before that I pray that you're will be done in my life. Lord Save Me From Maybe Choosing The Left Path It's Crazy Your Decision, But God I Respect That I Met Traps, And Said Crap, That I Can't Take Back Race Track Sins, Show Me, Where Is This Place At Way Back When I Was Young, I've Bin Corrected I Know I Need To Change, An Heaven's Protected Sin's Objective, To Retain, You From The Light And My Right Hand Is Promised, If I Fail End My Life Span Only Accuracy I Had With Tasks, Was Failing Them He's My Guide, My Pole, But Soon The Railing Ends I'm Tracing When I Was A Kid, I Had No Decisions But I'm Grown Finishing, And Now I Know Precision So My Task Gets Greater, Trying To See The Gates Every Time I'm Almost There I Just Flea The Place I Need A Place To Think, God Show Me The Grace God Made It Clear For Me Like A Blow In The Face Feedback left on http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=206443 and Stanza's The Movement Diss Last edited by sabotage : 08-28-05 at 06:25 PM. |
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08-28-05, 06:28 PM
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#2
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Torching You All
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IP: 3240 794D
Yo Good Drop Fam Nice Man Word.
__________________
Need Feed
Lord, Forgive Me Ft Sabotage Something Like That-Ft Torch Summer Nights-Ft Troch Super G's Ft Oreo The Council
We'll Make You Eat Your Words. Plus We've Got Ho's. |
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08-28-05, 08:05 PM
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#3
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Whys That?
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IP: 5285 DC82
Nice drop torch.
Your emotion is solid,rhymes are simple, your opener didnt even rhyme except save me and maybe. This is a nice read though,had alot of meaning to it. |
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08-28-05, 08:19 PM
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#4
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Torching You All
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IP: 3240 794D
Yo Thank You Fam. LOL Like I Said I Got Hard Time Writing For Text.
__________________
Need Feed
Lord, Forgive Me Ft Sabotage Something Like That-Ft Torch Summer Nights-Ft Troch Super G's Ft Oreo The Council
We'll Make You Eat Your Words. Plus We've Got Ho's. |
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08-29-05, 12:06 AM
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#6
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Witness, 4 God, 4-Ever
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IP: C81F 1BBC
very good drop, liked both parts equally, both used emotion very well, flow was good also, imagery was pretty good, great drop guys, keep em coming
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 i come from a time when you earned respect, for your rhyme and the way you made words connect, not the money that you made or the girls you sexed, a concept you obviously haven't heard of yet Mars Ill
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08-29-05, 02:40 PM
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#7
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A Life Of Chryme
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IP: 0825 899A
nice solid piece right here, felt both verses
Sabotage-Ur structure was kinda off but ur flow was still tight interesting...u used good vocab and stressed ur emotion well....also used vivid imagery.....lack of multis but made up with it wit ur effective verse 8/10 keep it up  Torch-Ur structure was awessome, created a very good flowing verse.....Felt your rhyme scheme was rather simple yet u made an effective point with your good emotion and imagery very nice.....keep it up 7.5/10 rtf on my sig links
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A LIFE OF CHRYME |
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08-29-05, 06:03 PM
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#8
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Torching You All
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IP: 3240 794D
How Was My Rhyme Scheme Simple LOL..Whatever You Say Man.
__________________
Need Feed
Lord, Forgive Me Ft Sabotage Something Like That-Ft Torch Summer Nights-Ft Troch Super G's Ft Oreo The Council
We'll Make You Eat Your Words. Plus We've Got Ho's. |
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08-29-05, 06:30 PM
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#9
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....
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IP: 4A1A 951B
Sab..i think you need to work on flow.That 1st bar didn't even rhyme.And a couple of lines were a lil too long and could have been compressed for a better flow.Wording was a little off.
..I thought torch outshined sab.I was really feelin torch's rhyme scheme.Kept a nice flow throughout the whole thing.Wording was good too.Good job..keep it up. Overall...I liked the message and everthing you guys had.7/10 peice Rtf in my sig if you can.... |
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08-29-05, 06:31 PM
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#10
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Torching You All
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IP: 3240 794D
I Got You Want Me To Vote Or Leave Feed?? PM Me
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Need Feed
Lord, Forgive Me Ft Sabotage Something Like That-Ft Torch Summer Nights-Ft Troch Super G's Ft Oreo The Council
We'll Make You Eat Your Words. Plus We've Got Ho's. |
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08-29-05, 06:36 PM
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#11
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A Life Of Chryme
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IP: 0825 899A
ayyo rtf torch........u can vote honestly on mine
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A LIFE OF CHRYME |
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08-29-05, 06:47 PM
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#12
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Torching You All
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IP: 3240 794D
Mizz Fyre In The Council I Can't Vote..I'll Leave Feed On An Open Mic Pick One?
__________________
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Lord, Forgive Me Ft Sabotage Something Like That-Ft Torch Summer Nights-Ft Troch Super G's Ft Oreo The Council
We'll Make You Eat Your Words. Plus We've Got Ho's. |
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08-29-05, 06:48 PM
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#13
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A Life Of Chryme
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IP: 0825 899A
well u pick one...........and thanks
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A LIFE OF CHRYME |
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08-29-05, 10:52 PM
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#14
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Torching You All
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IP: 3240 794D
Done For Sure..Word
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Lord, Forgive Me Ft Sabotage Something Like That-Ft Torch Summer Nights-Ft Troch Super G's Ft Oreo The Council
We'll Make You Eat Your Words. Plus We've Got Ho's. |
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08-30-05, 11:58 PM
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#15
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Torching You All
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IP: 7BE2 A0A1
Sleep Heads LOL!!!
__________________
Need Feed
Lord, Forgive Me Ft Sabotage Something Like That-Ft Torch Summer Nights-Ft Troch Super G's Ft Oreo The Council
We'll Make You Eat Your Words. Plus We've Got Ho's. |
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