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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
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short
IP: 6387 1717
how does one get better without feedback? i do not know....constructive critisism is good!....sorry its so short
my lack of words is what pushes me to get better/ and i watch as my vocab grows letter by letter/ a lyrical sweater made of flows that just continue to grow/ like a garden of words, that i continue to sew/ what do you know? i might have found my niche/ found a place to come back to when lifes a bitch/ my hands start to twitch when i have lines to spit/ but all i can do is hope that they hit/ lines that fit, seem to be so rare to me/ but as i get better i find that i can see/ what ill be if i stick to this game/ even if right now i sound pretty lame/ |
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.BeTteR ThAn YoO!.
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IP: 5E39 7B79
Man, yo shit aint too bad, the wordplay on the lyrical sweater line then back up with the gareden of words sewn together was a fucken nice concept man, I liked that shit, you also got a good rhyme scheme, may be a bit short but its short and sharp which is good, keep it up dawg!
Peace OUt! |
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IP: 9588 E886
thanks dude, its replys like that that keep me trying
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IP: C817 FD5A
damn dawg. Yo im new to this site as a matter of fact i just signed 2day but ni99az be spittin they asses off up here man. That gangsta bra. Keep spittin dawg
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PaPeRcUt BaNdiT
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IP: 48A2 DC22
it is kinda weak kid...but keep at it....atleast u tryin wit the metas...but explore other aspects of this shit to....and wit ya metas...u got shit swithed up hardly makin sense....switch up
"that i continue to sew" with "that jus continue to grow".... and them 2 lines will make more sense...if u look at the lines individually they make no sense |
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.-.Marxism.-.
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IP: 5F55 0048
you gettin better and better... you spittin what you know... keep at it... drop me a pm with a link to your next post... keep rhymin
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Guest
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IP: FF9A 1C0B
the end u stopped trying lol but keep wit the wordplay just add all aspects like wordplay, punchlines, metaphors, similies, imagry, vocab...shit like that, people think all u got to do to be a MC is rhyme and make sence and have a topic, its not like that if u wanna be a true mc, commercial motha fuckas be like that tho...stay spittin
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....:::-Punchline-:::....
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IP: D3CD 5FCE
tho it was short it had good word-play an a couple nice mettas, u need constructive feedback? Keep tryin and elevate ure vocab and you'll b droppin bombs in no time.....
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