RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases > Poetic Scriptures
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 04-01-03, 08:22 PM   #1
gang one
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Joined:
Status:
Text Record: 0-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
Lines

IP: 6159 ED3B

MY LINE HAS BEEN DRAWN.
A SWAN IS A SACRED CRETURE THAT LEEDS TO FELINGS OF:
"SHOULD i BEAT HER?"
i FEAR MY SELF AT TIMES AND i SHOULD i 'M THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS ME FOR SURE.
i STARE AT A PLANK OF WOOD IN AN APARTMENT THAT LEADS ME TO A STREET CORNER WERE A PERSON ISHUNGOVER OR OVERHUNG WITH GUILT OF INCOMPLETION TO GET A LIFE AND GET THE JOB DONE." STRIFE IS THE DEVILS PLAYGROUND IDAL HANDS JUST HELP HIM PICK UP THE SAND TO TOSS IT ATYOU i'LL PRAY FOR HER AND YOU.

LET ME KNOW.


(IT WAS AN IMPROV PEICE)
  Reply With Quote
Old 04-01-03, 08:31 PM   #2
GrAn THeF
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Joined:
Status:
Text Record: 0-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: A16A 7D79

This was a decent piece.
my opinions-
1 dont write in caps lock( people get annoyed wid it)
2 try usin more multis
3 devolop a more consistant flow
and last use stronger vocab to get your points across

all in all this was a good piece
the topic was decent
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:04 PM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.