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Old 06-10-03, 11:34 PM   #1
MeX
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Shattered dreams

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something i came up with during the night. Please respond with what you think and some tips.

How many whiggas like me do ya see/
busting their rap on mtv/
hungry for fame but none know their name/
and craving for fame they smuggle their shame/
and pretty soon everyone comprehends their name/
as the spit in the underground
Waiting to be found/ becoming a hound/
so they put forth everything they’ve got/
put on the spot but there everything their not/
expected to be and their dreams break before being seen/
and they go home shattered /
Their dreams have been splattered/
On the pavement of hope/
So they turn to dope hoping to scope/
Out their problems with coke/
Till the OD on a drug called codeine/
And end up dead cremated instead/
And their remains scattered just like their dreams that were shattered.
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Old 06-10-03, 11:37 PM   #2
Baron Mynd.
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RB Legend. .
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Old 06-11-03, 03:59 AM   #3
Emotion
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need s alot f work
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Soft focus

Whats the point of living?

The voices in my head Feat. Rule

Unlikely Alias

More Comming soon!
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Old 06-11-03, 11:10 AM   #4
MeX
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ya....i guess it does need alot of work. like how though, Why dont someone of ya gimme some tips and help than to just say it sucks or needs some help. People dont learn that way....
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Old 06-11-03, 11:24 AM   #5
WORD~PERFECT
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YET POTENTIAL WAS 5THERE INDEED
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Old 06-11-03, 10:32 PM   #6
MC_RIPPA
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yeah i agree with word perfect you got potential. keep writing.
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Old 06-11-03, 11:00 PM   #7
Noiz
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You Do Have Potential, But You Need To Work On Vocabulary, Mainly...

.................................................. .................................
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Old 06-12-03, 02:46 AM   #8
FaTaL ErRoR
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i must say this was ok... i had to read this twice...lol, maybe cuz i was high
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