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Old 09-03-03, 12:51 AM   #1
Pre Tense
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Post Dr. Feelgood has got the best of me............

IP: 6236 079F

Desperate and alone
Responces have grown short of my own
......................(drifting into unconscious)

Feel like my body is loosing
Every breath I take is becoming short
Entrapped in a world of illusion
Levetating......................................... .....
Glowing white light up ahead
Old friends I havent seen in a while
Over and over again I keep hearing a voice saying he's
Dead
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Old 09-03-03, 11:27 AM   #2
Provoked Images
Just call me your Savior
 
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ha ha, i liked it cause it has a solemn and hidden feelin in it, although it WAS pretty simple...tha way u put tha dead at tha end is like tha climax BUT it's AT THA END, which can always leave tha reader thinkin...good piece...
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Old 09-03-03, 11:29 AM   #3
The Syndicate
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simple but crude..........it lacked length but it didn't in depth..........what am i sayin......nice drop............................................
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Old 09-03-03, 03:09 PM   #4
Pre Tense
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Thanks alot. I know it was simple but I was trying to explain in as minimal of words as I could to explain an overdose................

Thanx again...............

PEACE~~~~~~~~~~~~>
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Old 09-03-03, 04:41 PM   #5
Verbatim
That's Right...I'm White
 
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yeh
it was alright, coulda made lines little longer or something
but other then that, this piece was tice.

Keep droppin
peace
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Old 09-05-03, 08:14 PM   #6
DiverseSyndicate
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short and simple,it sometimes makes a good piece.keep droppin.~1~
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