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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
07-13-03, 01:28 AM
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#1
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Guest
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first rhyme<CRITIQUE away>>>>.>
IP: A955 655D
the essence of my presence is an extention of my mind/the electric connections plant conceptions in time/introspective reflections show me to climb/while you slowly decline/my prophetic perceptions keep me sublime/mile a minute mind time keeps on movin'/so tell me once again what makes you think im human/for you naieve robots this is your only conclusion/ im more like a fusion of mind and machine/i fell from the sun and im blinding the scene/rewinding time and dividing the seas/ripping the seams and finding my means/while your hiding in trees ,denying your dreams/im shining and rhyming like veteran emcee's/who chanell energies, and synergy/i spit imagery to display mental purity in perfect symetery/ lyrically and spiritualy,it's clear to me,you lack clarity/clouded concepts connect less than rarely/merrily,merrily life is but a dream/it's rarely played fairely/it's up hill and up stream like it or lump it hit me back
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07-13-03, 01:30 AM
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#2
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~Im Cool Like Whoa~
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IP: 1B2C BC6D
therez nothin to critique, it was good in my opinion....not that it matters or anything
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.TCS. |
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07-13-03, 01:32 AM
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#3
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Guest
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IP: A955 655D
thanx
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07-13-03, 01:41 AM
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#4
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Guest
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IP: 4577 CD9A
this wasnt your first time so dont even try to say it
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07-13-03, 12:37 PM
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#5
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New to RB
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IP: A43B DE81
flowed nice, good vocab u could of dun betta on lenth tho. keep it up.
"i fell from the sun and im blinding the scene" luved dat line^^ peace~roX~
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im capable of anything my amagination can give me wings, like doves flyin over streets watching many things//Nas |
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07-13-03, 07:28 PM
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#6
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Guest
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IP: 4C3F 1979
"mile a minute mind time keeps on movin'/so tell me once again what makes you think im human/for you naieve robots this is your only conclusion/ im more like a fusion of mind and machine/i fell from the sun and im blinding the scene/rewinding time and dividing the seas/ripping the seams and finding my means/while your hiding in trees ,denying your dreams/im shining and rhyming like veteran emcee's/"
^^ iwas feelin that part, much respects on this piece ya had vocab on lock keep droppin thun, most definite peace |
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07-13-03, 07:48 PM
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#7
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Suspended Suspense
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IP: 63A0 989C
very nice drop, i also dont believe this was your first piece lol, maybe on this site, or u worked on it at home or something, but if your truly a newbie, u couldn't come up with that, very nice tho
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07-14-03, 01:22 PM
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#8
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Kung Fu
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IP: B490 C78C
very very ...............
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<center>a.k.a Enseign</center> |
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07-14-03, 01:23 PM
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#9
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Kung Fu
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IP: B490 C78C
nice
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<center>a.k.a Enseign</center> |
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07-14-03, 05:11 PM
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#10
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Flyweight
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IP: 3A17 1CF6
ok well i was expecting to be able to come in here and actually critique somethin but its obvious this isnt really your first time. but ya good post even if this was your 1000th.
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""Accustomed to trample on the rights of others, you have lost the genius of your own independence and become the fit subjects of the first cunning tyrant who rises among you." --Abraham Lincoln, speech, September 11, 1858 
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