Born underweight premature barely breathing/
Arguements were heard as his dad begin leaving/
Never seen again just known as the creator of his soul/
Never knowing when he died so the kid wanted to be his dad, immortal/
After living though the torment which was his birth/
He got to see his first glimpse of this place called earth/
A week old eyes barely open began to get ill/
With no money the mom had no way to pay the bill/
So she dropped him off at his aunt's being the second to abandon/
Growing up unloved and mistreated as the hate grew within/
Just doing chores barely fed the immorality clicked in/
He left out from the house this is where the journey begins/
Turned 13 years old just became a teenager who was foolish/
Dropped out of his eduction with "I'm too cool for this school shit"/
Got mixed up with the wrong crowd although he knew he could not demise/
So he started doing drugs always seen with blood shot eyes/
He got though his teen years with no blemish or scratch/
Then hit twenty sprayed twenty now in jail with no miss to catch/
Twenty years spent in a jail with nothing but men/
But he lived though immortal till the day came when/
He got out still thinking that he was unstoppable/
So he found himself in another gun fight a death was probable/
Looked at the man across he'd seen his face before/
Not knowing where just knowing that he needed to settle the score/
The face was from a picture..It was his giver of soul/
As he shot two though his chest he found out..He wasn't immortal/

*If it wasn't caught..His dad (Giver of soul) was the person who he killed in the end which meant neither were immortal*

your vocab n structure was elementary....but i felt the message you tried to convey in this piece...fa real...it was simple yet deep..n i dont know why.....dont worry though son...you'll elevate...fa real...nicely done

idigo

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freelance

RN Vs RB WAR!!....yr 2000...vet~~YEA I SAID VET!! WHAT YOU WANT ME TO PROVE IT? STEP THEN YOU FUCKING HOMO'S