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![]() IP: 25C2 23BD
So easy to read what youre thinking
Simple to see that you need me Could it be the way you broke The way you twisted round Cause it wasnt the way you spoke-- But the way you sound The sparkle in your eyes Mild hypnotising Giggling filtering the air.. Live a life in my dreams with a single stare (No women in my life will ever compare) Give me your hand Let me take you away Ive got all night And youve got all day Let me show you What it feels like To give yourself away Let me show you What it feels like To live forever in a day Ive got a hand or two That im wandering Youve had to know All this time What Ive been fondeling Dont wanna sound insane but the way you speak my name Sweet sentimate kisses the air (No women in my life dare ever compare) Now, we are breathing Light with the sunset Your words are an offset Keep embracing your legs Sprinkled night cap Now its on your bra strap Dont understand the words youre saying I promised I would love you Hovering all above you Stars floating accross the sky Eyes drifting into mine Forget I will never Replace to disface Forgeting but not regreting Impossible to stay I hold you for a moment But each second slips away If I keep you in my mind forever Our love will always remain (Eternal in your arms) |
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IP: 73D8 AACD
awwwww
"Cause it wasnt the way you spoke-- But the way you sound" ^that is the first line that really stood out to me... Cause it's so true....iunno, well it is with me anyways... This was sad...but still I enjoyed it...it was so surreal and just seemed to float as you were reading it....you had alot of nice lines that I could quote, but I won't,.....I'll just let u know that I really enjoyed it.. keep em coming |
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Guest
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IP: 25C2 23BD
Thanks for your reply Soultress!
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Registered User
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IP: 8197 FA9C
nice piece...
felt the emotions. it kinda lacked on vocab maybe you could have described the way she looked, or just the way you were feeling that day, or how the world looked like that day. Cuz it stayed kinda superficial on one hand... you could have gone way deeper with this. No hate intended. Nice piece though, keep droppin, i'd give it a 7/10 1 Luv |
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Registered User
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IP: E88E 70DE
awwwwwwwwwwwwww.......... yah that poem was tite as hell!!! Great emotion, awesome tone, good use of words!!! Keep it up babe!!!
__________________
Dealing with backstabbers, there was one thing I learned They're only powerful when you got your back turned I yearn for the day I finally meet them again So I can give them all a taste of their own medicine ¤ 3ast Sid3 ¤ http://hometown.aol.com/jjbootaylicious |
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Guest
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IP: 25C2 23BD
Quote:
Thanks for the critique split, and your reply Eastside. |
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