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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
09-11-03, 10:33 PM
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#1
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Guest
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One verse...
IP: B2E8 21DD
Sorry y'all...I don't got much time so I can only type up one verse for now.
Verse 1: I'm underground with a renowned found astound Watch as I get to spittin' this profound sound I'm the ant invadin' on your picnic ground Unknown cat who knows his way around I chew at a new crew like there's nothin' left to do This a debut from an emcee who's long overdue My words are true, they don't need a review I'm in a whole 'nother league than you I fly like a kite that's out of site, don't try to see my light My knowledge is too bright, you'll lose your sight All these chemicals mixed, now watch me ignite There's a new star shinin' in the sky tonight Who's the blame for callin' rap a game, they should be slain It's full of blood, sweat and tears, but mostly pain I can't explain the thoughts that enter my brain As I continue my reign, I'll be the last to remain Let me know what y'all think. UPPIN! |
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09-11-03, 10:54 PM
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#2
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Guest
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IP: B2E8 21DD
Hit me with some feedback!
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09-11-03, 11:16 PM
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#3
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Guest
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IP: C1DA C961
i see ur potential kid. but on this verse u came kinda of shallow. talkin bout how nice u are. which may be true. but diversify ur shit. good looking
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09-11-03, 11:19 PM
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#4
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Registered User
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IP: C1DA C961
j dub that was a nice flow i feel you could have had some better vocab but dont get me wrong yo shit was on point
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09-11-03, 11:20 PM
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#5
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Guest
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IP: B2E8 21DD
Thanks, I appreciate your oppinion
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09-11-03, 11:36 PM
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#6
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Guest
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IP: B2E8 21DD
Just leave a link after posting your feedback and I'll return the favor.
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09-12-03, 04:27 PM
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#7
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Guest
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IP: 7BBC 5E47
UPPIN!
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09-12-03, 07:02 PM
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#8
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Guest
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IP: 7BBC 5E47
Come on y'all!
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09-12-03, 07:07 PM
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#9
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Guest
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IP: AC2F A033
this was pretty ill,good structure,it was easy to read,easy to follow,u need more vocab and more multis,other than that this was ill,keep spittin.~1~
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09-12-03, 07:36 PM
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#10
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Guest
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IP: 7BBC 5E47
Thx...
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09-13-03, 12:37 AM
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#11
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Guest
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IP: 7BBC 5E47
More feedback plz...
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09-13-03, 11:19 AM
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#12
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Guest
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IP: C1DA C961
it showed skill, no doubt...
it pretty much flowed all the way through... had some multies... thas cool... but it was pretty simple... Pretty average vocab and all... and the topic... umm..... anyways... it was a keystyle, so that explains the simplicity... -1- |
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09-13-03, 01:39 PM
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#13
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Guest
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IP: 22F5 A53D
Thanks, I'll try to improve more next time.
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09-13-03, 01:43 PM
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#14
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Guest
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IP: 22BA 15F6
the potential here is evident, however, the whole "like a kite, see my light" thing is very wack. i can't say it enough, USE MULTIS! it makes shit a lot more fun to read, as well as expand the vocab, always. but your structure and flow are on point, just elevate the lyrics and have a solid topic(other than yourself). amen. good on ya.
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09-14-03, 02:26 AM
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#15
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Banned for being stupid
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IP: 95C5 EAD6
yea u definetly got potential, but uve got to elevate ur vocab, and multis. i thought ur topic was ok, as was wordplay. hold ur chin up kid just keep postin and elevatin and youll do fine.
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