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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
09-19-03, 05:09 PM
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#1
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Guest
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Thinking...
IP: 07A9 FFEC
Thinking...
My Mind in Deep Thought, Searching for Soul Tranquility.. To search with in myself and bring out my True Abbilities.. Move with Agility - and to Know the things Un - Known.. in Heavy Consentration, my sweat could Break Stones.. focused on the Words i Speak - my Health at its Peek.. my Eyes are Keen, able to find anything in which i Seek.. i can Sneak with Stealth -- i am the Cellophane Human.. Disguised from the Naked Eye, which i Tease for Amusement.. leaving my Victims shocked -- there Bodies Glazed over.. Thats how i could of went about it, to bad i Just Shot the Poser.. ~ Saul Goode Last edited by -Magnitude : 09-19-03 at 05:39 PM. |
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09-19-03, 05:21 PM
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#2
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Guest
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IP: 07A9 FFEC
Feedback please...
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09-19-03, 05:34 PM
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#3
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Banned: Spamming
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IP: ABE5 FC72
Not bad my man. .
short and to the point, the topics been done numero unous times before, but this was decent for whats there, good content, vocab's pretty good, nice use of multi's and internals to get the piece done, flow was a little rickety in some areas, but nothing major. Not really a lot to critique, but welcome to WP and i hope you learn from me. Oh, make your bars even, hoe. it looks better presented.
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W o r d P e r f e c t  ^This is your IP bitch! |
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09-19-03, 05:37 PM
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#4
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Guest
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IP: 07A9 FFEC
Werd.
I will work on making my bars even, I just did this because I was bored.. and thank you for the welcome, lmao. You Junky. |
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09-19-03, 06:20 PM
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#5
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Guest
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IP: 07A9 FFEC
Uppin for some feedback.
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09-19-03, 07:29 PM
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#6
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Guest
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IP: 07A9 FFEC
Quote:
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09-19-03, 07:31 PM
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#7
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Retired.
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IP: 9FD6 DFF7
Good stuff here...
decent imagery with a decent flow... very short but still good... keep writing man... |
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09-19-03, 07:41 PM
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#8
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BANNED: Cheater
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IP: 8E37 95F9
it's pretty decent, not a bomb spit but it was a coo' drop
keep em coming 1 |
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09-19-03, 07:59 PM
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#9
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Yeah Keep Biting.
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IP: 6C59 B267
yeah it was decent for a quick key...
nice structure.. flowed nicely. trying choosing a topic.. and spiting to that. would like to see ... how you drop on topicals. |
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