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Old 10-02-03, 12:23 PM   #1
/:Ayura:\
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My World

IP: CC07 EC19

My room is my world
I live in a spherical cube, A dark light, And open smallness
I sit on top of my forest, where I rest
I cant afford to keep the sea running
I struggle to get to the antartic, where he placed my food
Boys and girls go dating at the cinama
The enlightened extra terrerstrail
Stuffing there heads with propaganda
I glance out my window
And look at the stars waste their energy on sun's products
No care for our space
I look at the carpet
The goverment bacteria hires spiders
to cause riot, and use them as an excuse to close my poetry
My poetry
My pen
Is all I have
My worlds core is made of ink
Volcanoes express my pain
And burn out out my pain
But its time to take flight
I open my chest to the six nuclear bombs
And cause the second big bang

for I am everything, but nothing
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Old 10-02-03, 12:29 PM   #2
HazY.B
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ive read your peices and ive replied and yet i receive no gratitude waht so ever

grrrrrrrr

anyways
moving on

The enlightened extra terrerstrail
Stuffing there heads with propaganda
^ reminded me of ET when he see's teh flower whilting and makes it reblossom

your structure the declinging of the sentences to just two word phrases was a good touch to add to this peice i felt as if your voice was increasing as the amount of words you spoke decreased

was a nice peice and it was good to read at this time in the mornig when nothing seems right
hazy
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Old 10-02-03, 04:49 PM   #3
Menik
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Yeah this was a good poetry piece, i was feeling the meaning to it, it was a good read i thought, you had a lot of deep lines that i was feeling, and overall i thought this was a good piece, keep up the good work.
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Old 10-02-03, 07:01 PM   #4
/:Ayura:\
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sorry hazy.b imma reply to your poems. thanks for the appreciation, upping this though
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