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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
09-30-03, 08:14 AM
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#1
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Eddy.
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(Short) Note Book Piece
IP: FF40 570D
.:Rainforest:.
Resamblin life, Beautiful but still treaturous./ Silent and save, But olso filled with danger./ Quiet, peacefull, but al by al its still restless./ Dirty and ugly, Filled up with controversial hate./ But still pure, By its inner beauty./
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09-30-03, 08:42 AM
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#2
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Atra Ludio or Hip-Hop?
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IP: CDAE A6D5
Y'know I was going to compare this peice with my bedroom, but I figured that to be innapropriate. So I won't.
Anyway, this was a short peice indeed. It's hard to reflect on it because when one reads it they can't pick and point out their own parts they want to, there is just that which is there to reflect on. But I read it and all I can say is you captured the rainforest pretty much down pat. ~Shalom~ |
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09-30-03, 08:45 AM
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#3
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Eddy.
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IP: FF40 570D
 it was short, ..but i liked it ...more feed back.
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09-30-03, 11:39 AM
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#4
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Eddy.
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IP: FF40 570D
Up^
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09-30-03, 12:26 PM
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#5
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BANNED
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IP: 7AA4 D75E
it was a decent written peice
i think THE WAY you wrote it is what i can critque on most the way you used teh html by bolding adn italicing helped aid in teh structure of your peice since it was such a simple peice it was good for you to add a higher level of vocab so that the peice really isnt SIMPLE jsut simply written nice peice hazy |
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09-30-03, 02:53 PM
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#6
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Eddy.
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IP: FF40 570D
She So Cute^^, even in reply's
Preciated^^Up
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10-01-03, 10:28 AM
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#7
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Eddy.
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IP: FF40 570D
Up^^
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10-01-03, 11:58 AM
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#8
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Guest
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IP: CC07 EC19
Definately feeling this. In thought, its amazing how the rainforest ecosystem is, in evolutionary and life terms. Its silent but dangerous. I dont think humans have realised how important the rainforest is. Keep upping this shit and lengthen it.
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10-02-03, 04:59 PM
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#9
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Eddy.
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IP: FF40 570D
Camarac close the other one plz
uppin
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10-02-03, 05:26 PM
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#10
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BANNED
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IP: 7AA4 D75E
listen here i reply to you ....you reply to me thats how it goes
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10-02-03, 05:47 PM
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#11
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Eddy.
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IP: FF40 570D
I pm u u pm me ^^ k ...little sweety , i never knew u dropped ne thing :P
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10-02-03, 08:13 PM
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#12
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Word.
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IP: 76B1 9A60
yeah i think this was a good short piece, it was good read lol, but it had meaning behind it and i was feeling it, it was structured pretty good i thought too, overall id say it was a good piece, keep up the good work.
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10-02-03, 08:27 PM
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#13
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Eddy.
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IP: FF40 570D
Thnx ^^
Up^
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10-03-03, 03:04 PM
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#14
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Eddy.
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IP: FF40 570D
Up ^^
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10-03-03, 03:46 PM
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#15
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Guest
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IP: 26CF 94F0
I don't know what to make of it....It reminds me of something i read once called the Gunslinger by Stephen King. Due to the characters own actions he has created a paradox within the world he lives in that is reverberating out of himself. This reminds of this piece. It seems as if 2 warring factions are debating over the qualities of the poems object wich is all the things that both have claimed but can still be embodied in purity. It will give me something to reflect on, as well as a style that I may try that wouldn't have otherwise crossed my mind....but that's what art is first it makes you think, then reflect, and ,most importantly, it must bring you to action of one sort of another. This piece does that in my eyes. Thank you for sharing
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