" FUTURE DREAMS "


( CHORUS )

Rhymes confined, fast forward through time lines
Vision with-held from blinds, and still no signs
We need to change now, even if one at a time
The future holds no primes, just the death of our kind…

( VERSE 1 )

Death with no intention
So many people, but none willing to listen
Waist less missions, the helpless have no attention
So much fiction, the truth holding no resistance
Thousands of illnesses, many more sentimentals
Lie’s confidential, erased like paper and pencil
Love essential, not holding credentials
Peace complicated, as wars so simple
What happened to honor, to being faithful
Minds wasteful, kids being ungrateful
War stories, now turn into fables
Minds easy, stereotypes and being racial

( CHORUS )

Rhymes confined, fast forward through time lines
Vision with-held from blinds, and still no signs
We need to change now, even if one at a time
The future holds no primes, just the death of our kind…
X2

( VERSE 2 )

Im the depiction, of a soul grown wishen
Mind filled with hate, pictures of the light are skippen
Fingers itchen, Stains of blood forever sticken
In the children, our futures darkest corners
No more supporters, food grown shorter
Pain not relieved, but turned into more torture
Luck has no copy, it continues to be more sloppy
Don’t depend on it, or the road will go rocky
Let’s start a formation, Allie into one nation
Show that there’s no diffrents, all on the same station
Now problems belong to everyone, no one secluded
Your family can feel safe, we would all be included
Were all students, and there is only one teacher
That is god, so allow him to be the only speaker

( CHORUS )

Rhymes confined, fast forward through time lines
Vision with-held from blinds, and still no signs
We need to change now, even if one at a time
The future holds no primes, just the death of our kind…
X2





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http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...5800#post925800 - Brixton 'n' Crew

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...5810#post925810 - LoCo

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=93165 - Supreme The Ghost

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um...its pretty-
if ur into that emotional shit-

kinda basic ryhme scheme word after word-
little choppy-maybe a lil wordplay would lightin it up-

7.5/10.....thats high for me-

k, I know that much already. Im pretty hard on gradeing peoples flows myself. Thanks for the constructive critism.
Uppin

OUT

-High Class a.k.a Confusion

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Yeah i agree this was pretty good....it was a good read....the flow was ok, got off at points but it was still good though....Rhyme Scheme was alright i thought....you structured it pretty good also....the chorus was good as well.....overall this was a good piece...keep at it and keep dropping.

dawg.... im feelin it but then again im not........ smooth flow.......and a gravy ryme skeme blend for a ginuine melow thread..... kinda hard to see where you were tryin to go with this one..... but youve got skill....... nice drop...

wun

When I have the chance, I will make this an audio. Cause the rhyme scheme is alot harder than ya think. LOL But I feel what you guys are saying. I apprieciate the replys, and I will try and use your advice to a good advantage.
Uppin

OUT

-High Class a.k.a Confusion

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This was pretty tight i liked the flow of this piece and your vocab was also a good thing you had going on, Here are some lines i liked from your verse..


Nice..

Keep it coming 1..

Aight then, thanks for the replies everyone. My ass needs to get some rest. I hope to see some more on here later. Lots of Love hommies.
Uppin

OUT

-High Class a.k.a Confusion

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Uppin for more replies hommies

OUT

-High Class a.k.a Confusion

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Uppin for some replies

OUT

-High Class a.k.a Confusion

__________________

Uppin for some replies

OUT

-High Class a.k.a Confusion

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For a no0b (sorry, just goin' by your post count..l0l) tghis is pretty damn good...

You flow is dope..you have alot of good, structured and well played internals in here..bars like:
"Mind filled with hate, pictures of the light are skippen
Fingers itchen, Stains of blood forever sticken" - that shit is tight dawg...
Your stanza's were structred well...good bar length.

Your vocab was nice..you didn't go over the top and you didn't undersuceed...also youn refrained from rhyming just 3 letetr words and shit, you rhymes were nice and complex, but at the same time they were easy to understand..dope...

The hook itself was dope..it related well to the rest of the verse..nice 4 line length, and you used good internals here as well.

3/5 - it was dope...look forward to seeing alot more shit like this from you..keep spittin' dawg.

iam feelin that shit, that dark shit appeals to me somehow, nice drop look for more in the future

Was ok, nice immagery , ..some good vocab , ..and an ok topic, ..keep droppin = )

Up^^

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Fuck you