RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 11-26-03, 09:40 PM   #1
Handcuffs
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
nameless

IP:

4 da ladies
jackass
open woundz


heres a little story i'm about to tell/
i makin' it up as i go so, what the hell/

Mike was a good kid, never really stood out/
his parents treated him like a girl scout/
all he did was go to school, and stay at his home/
his parents flipped when they found he got stoned/
they took away his privelidges, like he had any/
through his head, suicidal thoughts, he had many/
he decided to accept his jail -like restrictions/
he thought he could hold back the knife from incision/
or hold back the 22 from loading ammuntion/
soon, after groundation was ended/
the rules again, he started rebendin'/
this time it was cocaine, he had the money to buy it/
his parents yelled at him, he thought it was a riot/
they sent him to boot camp and when he got back/
he took the 12 gauge, off his fathers gun rack/
he sat on his bed, he thought about death/
he came to a conclusion and put his mind to rest/
later that day his mom went up to check/
all she saw was his bloody ass neck/
she regretted not giving him room to ever breathe/
the guilt built inside her and she grabbed the keys/
started driving to the lake where her husband was fishin'/
got coastin really fast and turned off the ignition/
she caught him at 40 instantly he died/
he never heard it coming until the crack of his thigh/
the wife drove into the lake, not even thinking twice/
except that it would've been easier to go out with a knife/

mike needed drugs to have fun in his life/
his parents were the ones that unsheathed the knife/


out like a newborn
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-27-03, 12:14 AM   #2
Handcuffs
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
IP:

feed back plz
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-27-03, 12:38 AM   #3
Tupac55
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
IP:

lol... Dunny, I Like's It , that was creative... and you fliped some good lines.... Keep @ it..
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-27-03, 12:46 PM   #4
Handcuffs
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
IP:

feedback people, c'mon
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-27-03, 04:27 PM   #5
Menik
Word.
 
Menik's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,017
From: Mifflinburg, PA
IP:

Yeah this was pretty good man....you seemed to structure it pretty well it looked good to me....the flow in this piece was pretty good it stayed pretty consistant i thought didnt get off too much....overall id say this was a good piece, worth the read...keep at it.
Send a message via AIM to Menik Send a message via MSN to Menik   Reply With Quote
Old 11-27-03, 09:13 PM   #6
Handcuffs
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
IP:

to da top
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-03, 02:12 AM   #7
Handcuffs
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
IP:

c'mon people, uppin'
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-03, 03:27 AM   #8
-uski-
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
IP:

that was a good peice I liked the read on it.. nyce topic...8/10

Peace Out Kuz
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-03, 01:10 PM   #9
Kclipz 4 Murkin
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
IP:

this was nice the lines flowed very well youve improoved a good amount nate good job nice topic word play was decent id give this 8/10 good job lookin for more peices man
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-03, 04:07 PM   #10
Handcuffs
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
IP:

hey just for fun, wanna battles klipz
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-03, 04:44 PM   #11
Kclipz 4 Murkin
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
IP:

oh u wanna battle meh?
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-03, 05:19 PM   #12
Handcuffs
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
IP:

yeah, i need something on my record, even if it is a losing point
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-03, 05:21 PM   #13
WORD~PERFECT
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
IP:

THIS WAS A GREAT READ TWIN I LIKED ALL YOUR ANGLES AND ASPECTS
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-03, 11:53 PM   #14
Handcuffs
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
IP:

^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^uppin'^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-29-03, 12:05 AM   #15
High Class
A King Missing a Queen...
 
High Class's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,573
IP:

I wasnt feelin this that much. It was to simplistic, and had to simple of a rhyme scheme. You have alot of potential hommie. And for a free write its good. It didnt really catch my attention though. Keep elevatin playa.

5.5/10

OUT

-High Class a.k.a Confusion
__________________


Sig created by "Tha Sick One..."

CRHYME SINDICATE

Open Mic Drops
-Defying The Odds-

Higher Thinking League
Record 2-0

High Class vs Tweety ( semifinals match)


  Reply With Quote


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:06 PM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.