A Week Before
||..A Week Being Hated On By Parents,Everything Has Gone Wrong Signals Of Depression..
||..People Go Through Bad Days, Good Days,Life Gets Better But ||..He Coulden't Get The Message..
||..He Was Tired Of Life,He Checked His List,Everything Finished He Was Set..
||...He Was Ready To Look Into The White Light,With No Regrets..
Hours Before The Incedent
||..He Was Ready To Die At The Age Of 17..No Need To Get Old..
||..He Wanted To End it From The Beginning,Just A Story Un-Told..
||..His Parents Neglected Him,But That'd Be The Last Time They'd See His Face..
||..No One Would Leave Him Alone,He Desprately Needed 2 Go To A Secret Place..
The Incedent
||..He Got High While Driving,But He Diden't Know This Was A One Time Thrill..
||..He Leaves The Car,Slits His Wrist The Last Sight Was The Blood Spill..
||..There Was No Turning Back Now It Happened,This Was The Night..
||..He Now Could Say "Fuck You" 2 Everyone As He Walked Into The Whitelight..
||..He Doesen't Regret This Night,Now He Could Look Over Everyone From Above..
||..Now He Knows Chicks Are A Waste Of Time,He Did This All For The Love..
The AfterMath
||..His Mother Found Out What Happened This Morning,The Funeral Was Today..
||..She Watched Them Bury His Corpse,She Diden't Know What To Say..
||..Even Though This Has Conspired,She Still Hates The Grave In He Lay..
Uppin'
I Doubt It Is Legend Material,Nomanite If You Think So

Uppin' This

Up^

it aint a bad piece...i've seen this kinda thing done before but it aint a bad piece..it was nice and i could see it happenin so therefore you kept me interested but a few things could be approved like vocab and structure..good job tho..keep elevatin..

__________________
my head is clouded with senseless doubt
but this seems to be my only escape route
so ill slither my way across the ground
to avoid my blyndedsoul from being found
~*~YOU LIVE YOU LEARN~*~

Thanx,
Uppin'

Up

..this was a decent piece..nothing unusal I must say..but your content was fairly well done..vocab was alright..keep up the good work..

To me, this was a good solid piece. What you wanted to get out was got out. And it was all fairly methodical. Withouth losing too much emotion.

That was also its bad points. A bit too rigid. Too robotic at times.

Nonetheless, it was relatively good.

..resp...

Thanks For The Love Ya'll.Uppin' This

this was a good read, a good write. i thought you could have had a better intro to the piece thou, but the outro was pretty good. you gave some good details, which brought it alive some. emotion was pretty good. i could feel it. structure was simple, but didnt take away from the piece. nice drop

~Tera~
DONT HATE

__________________

this is a real nice work. everything is straight, nuthin bad about it but nuthin particulairly special. still liked it tho. good shit man, is there any background story on this?

__________________