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Old 12-04-03, 02:42 PM   #1
rule
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Death In Our Eyes Feat. Kclipz 4 Murkin
IP: 1B3B C284

Replied to
Deva
80...
Koal...

Kclipz 4 Murkin
Sit Watching the walls as my life Flashes by
Understanding the mistakes Ive made, Gashes why?
Suicide ran through my mind multiple times
But cutting never answered, jus put'em in ryhmes
First school day remember it well, for being so young
Big for my age and checked it as" God why am i here, I'm done"
As it happens my 13th birthday was a low time for celabration
The family said it was a miracle like a so called "reincarnation"
I died that day only to change ways, change paths chosen allredy
Birthdays were never time I wanted to see, no matter how much confetti
Death followed me through my life it everywhere seemed
Haunting me stalking me no matter where, even in my dreams
Hurt many times nothing serious till that day happened
It was the one thing made my parents dreams seems to be flattened........Death



RULE
Flat lined at birth then was reincarnated as rare as jeezus
Possible mistake brought to the depths of life from a fetus
Sixteen years later I sit patiently in my room with envy
Writting songs about my life and how I feel so empty
Im a lonely child hated by masses who crave my demies
I glance into my future see death which isn't any surprise
Try to relax by metatation to cure my dismissed love
When I close my eyes I see the gates open from above
My muscles tighten I feel my lungs collapse about to faint
My life an empty portrait wasn't granted a brush nor paint
Reality in my eyes descripes obscene lines to a blueprint
Spiratuality my ghost lost spirit covers my hate in true tint
Thus the reason why I locked my veins w/ deadly gasses
I apt to the threat of death now cuz im haven back flashes
Off the hate passed by letters in class...the harsh jokes
Tears fallen from my eyes with pain the heart it pravokes
Resulting into the question of a joyful wanted death
I drank gasses to be with god liven was a false quest
Rule now feels the angels hands grasp my body
Am I dreaming a high or being lifted to heavon softly
The scars on my wrist I still feel opened and leaking
Eyes closed ear drums still hear the blade screatchin
As i'm being lifted I look down to my home and realize
Though everybody hated me it was a blesson tobe alive
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Old 12-04-03, 03:06 PM   #2
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Klippz you opened this piece very well.. flow was good.. tight multis..you could use w/p or metas to make it dope.. this is the first time i read your pieces but they're good.. rule you've elevated.. but you know theres alot of room for improvement.. but yours was good.. structure is unneccesary but you can do it.. Do you remember when I had mastered it!.. now i go for the beter mor complex flow.. but the content of yours was okay.. there was no lines with good w/p or metas.. nor did I find any poetic lines.. which everyone subconsciuosly likes cuz they try to figure the other meaning out..

Overall: This was a good collab.. Go and reply indepth to mine like I have to yours.. That means reading it and understanding w/p and metas.. = )
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Old 12-04-03, 03:28 PM   #3
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I was feelin dis
both of ya'll had a nice flow
kclipz wit nice multis
I was feelin dis
8/10
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Old 12-04-03, 03:36 PM   #4
Dappa Rappa
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Nice flow, nice multi's overall nice rhyme
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Old 12-04-03, 06:16 PM   #5
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i thought both you dawgs did good, both complimented eachother...with differeent strong qualities. klips nice mulits as has been said...rule i disagree with pot1ent you did good...everyone can use room for improvement but..... still was tight...thought your strucltue came better...but yeah nice collab...keep at it and active.....watching for more...pZ
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Old 12-04-03, 06:19 PM   #6
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damn this was a tight ass one nice shit man keep it up
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Old 12-04-03, 06:21 PM   #7
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thanks, for the replies if anybody has time can you hit up my battle in my sig it's being slept on thanks
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Old 12-04-03, 09:53 PM   #8
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up
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Old 12-05-03, 05:32 AM   #9
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[Kclipz 4 Murkin]
You opened this joint like a virgin being split..you ripped the shit dawg. You had tight multi's n' internals...with real meaning behind the rhymes, you didn't just spit shit for the sake of it..i can see you spent time on this..nig props.....

"Suicide ran through my mind multiple times
But cutting never answered, jus put'em in ryhmes" -
immaculate

[Rule]
You had another dope verse....the rhymes scheme and bar length was dope..it flowed smooth as fuck, it never fell off. You gave us good imagry in here, good use of words and phrases which you used intelligantly to get the message across. Could have sued some internals..but it was still brilliantly executed.... Keep the shit up!

4/5 - Whoa!
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Old 12-05-03, 07:20 AM   #10
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thanks man....this collab actually was 2 battle verses we did for a topical. Bit we bnoth felt we could do better so we compermized and did it into a collab this was we dont get fucked over...pretty smooth eh lol

RT thanks for the feed thats apreciated
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Old 12-05-03, 06:20 PM   #11
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uppen
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Old 12-06-03, 09:28 AM   #12
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UP
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Old 12-06-03, 12:07 PM   #13
rule
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^^pathetic herb
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Old 12-06-03, 06:07 PM   #14
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up up critues would be apreciated
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Old 12-06-03, 06:15 PM   #15
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This was a good write by the both of you. It had a nice coninuos flow, vocab never came off, nice line length. Maybe work on the rhyme scheme just a little. But good write from both of you... 8/10

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