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Old 12-07-03, 04:13 PM   #1
T lite
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~new verse~

IP: 6818 D8CC

i'll battle you line for line split ya wig from time ta time/
send three people to ya left cuz you outta ya right mind/
perplexed thoughts mixed wit detrimental costs equals one complexed hell of a loss/
the deadliest boss send potent potions ta keep others in they grave tossin and rollin/
im willin ta keep dealin fo as long as it takes/
and ready ta make ya famous like da great lakes/
you broke wit no deal hungry fo a mill/
reachin for the fo-fo trynna touch me still/
fa real i mean dawg come back ta reality/
try an send ya whole army and hood ta come battle me/
you'll repeat the same feat wit defeat dont ya see/
end up wishin that you'd neva tried ta mess wit me/
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Old 12-07-03, 04:20 PM   #2
Menik
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You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get deleted...

but this was ok...your structure could use some work though, some of your lines were a little stretched out there, you should try to make them a bit shorter and keep all your lines around the same length though...your flow was alright, could be touched up...add some multies to this....overall this was ok...keep at it.
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Old 12-07-03, 04:23 PM   #3
pot1ent
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This was really quite basic.. No multis.. The flow fell off aswell.. Your inners were good.. I was expecting wordplay.. even that being played.. But none at all.. A big dissapointment..Stay Up
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Old 12-07-03, 04:29 PM   #4
-->FreeBasE<--
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goood vocab

good rhyme scheme

a felt it the whole way thru

keep postin man
...........................................
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Old 12-07-03, 05:05 PM   #5
T lite
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thanx still uppin!!
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Old 12-07-03, 07:01 PM   #6
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you need to reply to three other open mics, and post links to your replies in this thread, or it gets deleted.
thanks.
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she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis
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