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09-01-03, 03:41 PM | #1 | ||||||
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'Down Under'...SS Verse
IP: 6236 079F
A Place Of Myth And Legend...A Place None Knew To Exist
A Mystic Glow Set By The Triple 6 Laced With The Burning Crucifix A Man Dies In A Knife Fight...Lived By His Money And Sweet Talking Lip A Man Shrouded In Motral Sin...He Begins His Brimstone Trip Its Over With, Not A Chance To Repent, No Dice For An Exorcist A Dim Light Burns Away A Man's Life...The Very Soul Is Penetrated A New Level Of Pain Is Generated...As An Evil Man Is Incinerated Paying For What Hes Done, For How Many People Hes Lost Respect For How Hes Was Too Cheap For Chairty, Now He Pays For It In His Flesh Suddenly Hes Remembers Who He Loved, The Way He Used To Live About All The Girls hes Had Sex With...All The Fatherless Kids All The Child Support He Refused To Give...All The Girls He'd Hit *Flash* He Was In The Trailer, With His Girl...A Too Young Blonde Raising A Kid She Was Angry At The World...One Way Or Other, He Didnt Give A Shit But This Was It...She Had Spent Too Much Money, Too Little Left Of It She Desperately Tried To Explain... He Wouldnt Listen, She Began To Plead 'Buying Shit She Dosent Need...Does She Thinks It Grows On Trees?' 'Shes Lieing, The Fucking Slut'...He Began To Twitch In Anger Restrained He Grabbed A Bat, Raised It Up... *Flash* ...He Was Back In His World Of Pain A Tornado Of Screams...A Wall Of Fire In Capabale Of Breach The Mourning Souls Strung Out On The Walls, Vieled In Fiery Wreaths Skin Is Slowly Scalded Away...No Possibility Of Relief Or Escape And There The Man Collapsed...Left To View The Smoking Landscape And Left There For All Eternity...His Last Day Was His Judgement Day |
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09-01-03, 03:42 PM | #2 | |||||||
Retired.
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IP: 65E6 24A8
Good imagery and flow here...
Good vocab and conveyed the topic well... Not a huge fan of the subject matter but still a good read... Keep it up... Also peep mine... What?... |
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09-01-03, 04:25 PM | #3 | |||||||
Just call me your Savior
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IP: BB8C D4B2
yo, that was some tight shit, it had good flow and tha flash was off tha hook too, jus one problem is tha subject u did is too overused, i think half tha threads in open mic by tha better MC's have to death and tha thought of it, but as a flow i'd give it a 7/10...
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09-01-03, 04:33 PM | #4 | ||||||
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IP: 4577 CD9A
^^it wasnt my choice...i was given a topic in the sacred scriptures
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09-01-03, 04:36 PM | #5 | |||||||
Just call me your Savior
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IP: BB8C D4B2
oh i c, then just take it as i said, a good drop...
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