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View Poll Results: what do ya think? | |||
i was feeling it | 3 | 100.00% | |
i wasnt feeling it | 0 | 0% | |
it was the shit | 0 | 0% | |
it sucked balls | 0 | 0% | |
Voters: 3. You may not vote on this poll |
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01-01-04, 01:56 PM | #1 | ||||||
Guest
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untitled america song
IP: C1DA C961
relied to
masta c liba dee lyrical killer dont just bitch about the structure. we all know that real rap doesn't have structure. this isn't fuckn' poetry thank you. try to capture the image on screen for all teens to see our flags waving, hands to forheads in an instant with a lady who can't sing worth a lick singing the anthem in the distant, america's in trouble there's no denying it, when Bush signed on the dot the plot got hot, an uncessary war took the spotlight with kids who still had zits rocking the fight rockets fly in the air at night, we are winning the fight little suzy was your average person she wanted to become a fucking surgeon but she became discouraged because her C.O. told her she was worthless now the dream is under the surface because that comment made her extremly nervous you think your life is bad well just check out jimmys he's wacked out because he blacked out in the army his fuckn' drill sargeant told him he was next to nothing nect thing you know he' be confronting with a gunning remember full metal jacket? we all know that's what's gonna happen |
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01-01-04, 02:00 PM | #2 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 7A38 2D7B
sounds like Kelly Rowlands song, 'Stole' which i thought was good.. You had a good concept..yeah, i was feeling it..could have improved it by adding multis and more complex vocab..
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01-01-04, 02:13 PM | #3 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: C1DA C961
thanks Dee. more feedback please.
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01-01-04, 02:41 PM | #4 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 65E8 9804
yo im sorry...but i did not like this piece 1 bit...to be honest i got bored after reading the second line...if u wanna be a hot rapper u gotta make tha reader anxious to get to tha next line u know....and i mean there was nuff lines dat didnt even rhyme...work on it...alot
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01-01-04, 04:02 PM | #5 | |||||||
young mike-young bangers-
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IP: 4577 CD9A
i dont know what he was talkin about i liked it but hey at least he was clear and honest bout the shit he was sayin right?it was good nice job ma.love ya holla back
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01-01-04, 04:22 PM | #6 | ||||
Word.
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IP: 6FDC 23CB
yeah this was ok i thought.....somethings could be touched up a bit.....flow was ok, could use a bit of work though.....like Dee said try adding some multies to this to help make it a bit better...the cocept was alright....keep at it.
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01-01-04, 04:23 PM | #7 | |||||
Free Agent
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IP: 399E F0FD
Quote:
Yeah man, you verse barely rhymed.... The flow was cool, butya gotta ryhme your words dogg....
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01-01-04, 04:27 PM | #8 | |||||||
I Will Kill You!!!
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IP: BCA5 AB0C
the concept was cool, but you really need to work on the flow a bit... to be honest. i read a little of it before i got bored.(not trying to be a dick).
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01-01-04, 05:07 PM | #9 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 399E F0FD
it did rhyme, just not at the end of every line. ill try harder next time. uppin fo rmore feedback.
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