Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
02-14-04, 01:29 PM | #1 | |||||||
New to RB
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~Moon Shyne
IP: 3C23 5077
Color reflexin, stress over takin, Ruckus is here~ take ya last breathe/
my footsteps treadin in new territory, unique style, u wonderin wats next/ not here ta act tough or be cocky, here ta spit an take ish off my chest/ cuz life of an mc is stressed, most of us do dis cuz its a way to self-express/ little boys at home watchin the tv, an intakin the ways of the street/ reshapin their mind, makin em think its the only way out, cuz they cant face defeat/ look it straight in the eyes and conquer, like bad dream u could never wake up from/ sleepin and dreamin, on the inside yur screamin, yur hood made u cold, no room for feelins/ only thing u got left is the pen and pad, sumtimes u dont even have dat/ dats wen ure mind turns void, so empty u dont kno wats wrong or right/ strapped in the streets, u can never sleep at night/ lookin up at tha moon an shinin its warm glow at me/ so much adrenaline pumps in veins, its like im runnin at a track meet/ backin, tryin ta win, but the guy in front is fast/ cant beat him, an slippin for a second, the race is lost/ my minds tired, i cant even feel my legs, over and done, other sites didn't like so they had me banned/ i aint askin for much, but show some appreciation, i aint the best ta spit on the mic, or write on the pad/ jus like ta speak my mind, even tho it amkes others mad/ rap for sum is ever lastin- for others its just a teenage fad/ u can choose yur path, but dont choose mine/ heh not my best, but it was quick an im tired from last night. hit me up wit sum honest opinions. peace |
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02-14-04, 07:22 PM | #2 | ||||
Word.
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IP: B56F FD05
This was ok....the structure could be fixed up though i think, the lines were stretched out and it took away from the flow i thought, try to shorten them down a bit....Had some ok vocab....try adding some more multies to this to make it flow better....but keep at it.
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