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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
03-08-05, 06:23 PM
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#1
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Out-Spoken
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Soul
IP: AF76 A123
Screams of confusion echo through the hollows of my soul.. and you say hollow trees have no soul.. they branch out and are bound strictly to the sky.. because the sky is the limit.. I once saw a tree that reached so high, i wondered.. how could I never be so insignificant? How could anything such as this be held lower in regard to a man.. who instead of reaching for the stars, he looks down on everything.. from the clouds, blinding him with the distorted reflection of his own image.. a man who's race would let them stand for nothing, but fall for anything.. Soul isn't an emotion, or a notion, or what you think or how you act.. soul is what you represent as a creation of God so if Hollow trees have no soul.. why do the hollows of my soul echo with confusion? Featured poem for a week,Good job~fluid 
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Seek & Destroy We have fun in my basement Time is not long, and indecision is hells cemment. So the well is rented, untill heaven is relevant. Untill then, to be eloquent, sex cells, so le'ts cellibate. "watch what you watchin...fox keeps feedin' us toxin's..stop sleepin' start thinkin outside of the box and unplug from the matrix doctrine....but watch what you say cause big brother is watchin" - nas - sly fox The I.H.C.J.S.F.M.T.R.H.P.M.M.W.T.S.M.S.I.T.F.F.W.A.S. O Crew
Last edited by fluidmoon : 03-19-05 at 06:29 PM. |
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03-08-05, 06:29 PM
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#2
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C.hristopher S.ean D.abatos
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IP: C348 5CFF
Wow...this was a excellent poem man.. It was very short, but had alot of meaning.. The vocab wasn't needed here at all because of your meaning. I also really like how u compare man to a tree.. very different.. good job man
 ..8/10 n plz leave feed back on my verse.. The Most Dangerous Disease
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www.FG-Servers.com    |
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03-08-05, 09:49 PM
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#3
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Out-Spoken
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IP: AF76 A123
aight thanks for the feedback
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Seek & Destroy We have fun in my basement Time is not long, and indecision is hells cemment. So the well is rented, untill heaven is relevant. Untill then, to be eloquent, sex cells, so le'ts cellibate. "watch what you watchin...fox keeps feedin' us toxin's..stop sleepin' start thinkin outside of the box and unplug from the matrix doctrine....but watch what you say cause big brother is watchin" - nas - sly fox The I.H.C.J.S.F.M.T.R.H.P.M.M.W.T.S.M.S.I.T.F.F.W.A.S. O Crew
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03-09-05, 11:55 AM
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#4
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Out-Spoken
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IP: D65B 74D5
uppin for the public....and i'm working on 1000 posts
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Seek & Destroy We have fun in my basement Time is not long, and indecision is hells cemment. So the well is rented, untill heaven is relevant. Untill then, to be eloquent, sex cells, so le'ts cellibate. "watch what you watchin...fox keeps feedin' us toxin's..stop sleepin' start thinkin outside of the box and unplug from the matrix doctrine....but watch what you say cause big brother is watchin" - nas - sly fox The I.H.C.J.S.F.M.T.R.H.P.M.M.W.T.S.M.S.I.T.F.F.W.A.S. O Crew
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03-09-05, 12:19 PM
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#5
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IP: 8AB2 5BB6
nice i was feel'n this... nice visuals .. also i liked ur vocab...keep it simple... and if ya have to go big make sure it fits in with the context of the poem... again def feel'n this nice.
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Â-balam balam i treat yall like cans of spam Free Time...  I Live the Lifestyle You Want to Live Secret Society/Cut Throat |
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03-12-05, 02:11 PM
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#6
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Out-Spoken
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IP: AF76 A123
uppin this shit for some feedback
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Seek & Destroy We have fun in my basement Time is not long, and indecision is hells cemment. So the well is rented, untill heaven is relevant. Untill then, to be eloquent, sex cells, so le'ts cellibate. "watch what you watchin...fox keeps feedin' us toxin's..stop sleepin' start thinkin outside of the box and unplug from the matrix doctrine....but watch what you say cause big brother is watchin" - nas - sly fox The I.H.C.J.S.F.M.T.R.H.P.M.M.W.T.S.M.S.I.T.F.F.W.A.S. O Crew
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03-14-05, 06:56 PM
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#7
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<<-Carpe Noctum->>
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IP: 28AD 5545
Nice job, i liked your vocabulary here, short but to the point..keep dropping..1
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"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" O Y D   *FluidMusic* *Poetic Scriptures Moderator* |
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03-17-05, 01:51 PM
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#8
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Odi et Amo
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IP: D8DF 0B27
I really loved the concept of your poem, good creative thinking on this one. Found a nice balance with your vocab, not too basic but not too complicated either and it was suited for the content of your poem. Strong aspects were emotion and imagery for sure, the different levels in your poem, the way you worded certain things made me stop and think about it. Really good job!
DQ
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Authentik Intelligence  ...The future is mine... |
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