Pale moonlight pierced into the blackness of the room
giving just enough light. It can never be safe to assume
that you will forget the past, times that never last
and all those Kodak moments put me in a mental cast
I look onto the card paper, and you smile back at me
the light in your eyes enchants. I cannot joyously
tear your smile in half, because you're up on the wall
and like so many pin ups I will never let you fall
because I don't want to forget the way you always smiled
it's desirable at times. My memories have been defiled
for a while, and when I think of you they rush right back
picking out the negative parts. My 3rd eye has Cataracts
I can't see deeper into the sinking depth of your mind
These pictures on the wall leave my love for you undefined
so I back away, to the very farthest side of the space
because this chamber of despair is just emotion's disgrace
"Why are you always so happy?!" you just keep smiling
the other pictures blurr, while 911 I should be dialing
I need help. I'm talking to an image caught of a time
when you loved me too, acting emotions out in mime
cause it was just a Sharade, just another party game
cold spring water of your greed extinguished love's flame
But theres a flame I can ignite, that will begin to spark
this is one of cupid's arrows that definatly met it's mark
so I raise the can of gas and soak your perpetual grin
I watch it stream down the wall covering Fugifilm's kin
Striking the match on my thigh, I toss it into the liquid
the wall woofs into flame, slightly toasting my eyelids
pictures curl and fall, this is a storm they cannot weather
you smile melts instantly, a memory that is lost forever...
Moral:
except in my mind, I surprise myself to find
that there were no pictures and no wall
this was my emotional downfall
You can never know what I do
images don't matter, there was only you

Peace

__________________
Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis

up

__________________
Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis

tight verse, strong in all departments, liked da moral kinda summed it up well, good work.

cheak dis http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=64890

up up up

__________________
Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis

it was good dawg......a little derranged but good. Nice vocab too.

Shiznit's thoughts:

VOCABULARY

>no one can pull this shit out better than you...i mean damn...well thought out vocabs...uve executed ur terms soooo unreachable...deep simple with a touch of complexity determined how talented u are. i liked how u contructed such creative words. nice!
>not enough multis but man the metas are great and the whole imagery going on made this piece stood out from the rest....word play was really good too...


FLOW

>PERFECT...i read it 4 times already...and i think it fitted the whole verse incredibly brilliant....it seems like im actually the speaker of these when i read it out loud...i really really liked this a lot!

CONTENT

>damn..i really got a lot of something to say about this i mean...the whole concept of the piece awed me im not surprised tho cuz all of your drops here definitely awed me big time..i meant there's this thing about ur writing that makes me feel like all emotional and shit...really really good!...the imagery caught my eyes.. THe beginning made me read furthermore...much respect for that..i love it


OVER ALL

>fantastic!...

Moral:
except in my mind, I surprise myself to find
that there were no pictures and no wall
this was my emotional downfall
You can never know what I do
images don't matter, there was only you


^^^ see what i mean...???...really good..!

__________________
<br><br><center>- Shiznit -
- Tampons are still expensive -
- That's a Fact - </center>

thanks jen

hey, grimey, hit me up on MSN some time : pitchblackprism@hotmail.com

up

__________________
Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis