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08-03-04, 11:51 AM | #1 | ||||||
New to RV
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Jack and Jill
IP: C1DA C961
Hey what's up. i wrote this in topical cyphers yesterday. my topic was what would my gf say at my eulogy if i died saving her life? i want some feedback on my style and rhymin'. Appreciate it.
Never thought rock climbin’ change to chalk linin’ Man, he was my superman, but this time death defied him Our height bout a thousand, my fears were arousin’, Main concern no longer college and off campus housin’ My rope snapped, pack fell, I yell, “M’ back kill” Oh God I can’t dil’. Voice shrilled “Need Jack, it’s Jill!!” He was always a hot rod, climbin’ with his Ipod He turned, his jaw dropped, and he heard by back pop He swung ova grabbed my hand, as if he was Tarzan, In his eyes I saw a plan, but the rest of my rope was frayin’, I turned said “Jack, I can’t” “Jill, Don’t lose your hope, I’m prayin’” And what he did from there, is why you see him now layin’ Jack always was a dreamer, he took his caribeaner, Said “Jill, it can’t hold two, but now, I’ll just hold you” He switched his line with mine, Oh God, why’s this his time? As he fell, I heard no yell, my heart felt worse than hell I tell you what I fil’, he’s my love and best friend Can’t call his life a dead end, So this to you my love and hero starin’ down at me from heaven |
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08-04-04, 04:49 AM | #2 | ||||||
Banned: Cheating
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IP: 5510 817C
wtf rofl this was wack
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08-04-04, 04:50 AM | #3 | ||||||
Banned: Cheating
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its wack
IP: 5510 817C
^^speaks tha truth
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