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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
02-09-04, 05:32 AM
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#1
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Guest
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enthraled pt 1
IP: 7E66 A2E6
As Cain moves in and out of any rhyme Smooth flowin thought the passing of time Voicecals take there place in the harmory demostating true elements of an emcee, prue form, mimcke of the d.i.t.c Wise not by years but by life provein with the scars still evendent from the knife intellectual above my any of my peers my voice is equal to the beats of premier's nasty, grimey and raw, but still leavin your ears in awe nah leavin you questionin why u want to hear your own I can't wait till I see a clone try to knock me off my thrown. I am, not a King, Emperor or a Ruler much cooler, I am the alpha the omega Ps2 to your gensis by sega, I am what god intend humans to be, the silhouette of poor and weathy never am i hard to find most are to blind, poluted the mind You see me when u walk down the street in the eyes of the ones by your feet, yeaning to be placed 6 feet deep. you see me in your dreams as you sleep I am the one explainin it all This verse just left you enthraled The Mighty, Mighty Mr. Sin  Last edited by CainSin : 02-09-04 at 05:38 AM. |
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02-09-04, 05:40 AM
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#2
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This is my first post!
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IP: ED3C 7BC1
flow was... shoudl word on that.
but it was still workable in ur peice hated how u used the topic tho. i mean i dont like that ...its just so lazy to me. your rhyme scheme was alright and the wordchoice could have been better. vocab a little work on but overall the peice was good, structure needs work because a reader is reading not listnening he sees things like demostating true elements of an emcee, prue form, mimcke of the d.i.t.c different. reader reads it as thats bad structure and struggles with how it should sound...so just put some dotts or something or drop the line but thats a peice of info to ponder on when ur reviewing/editing ur piece.
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<center> <img src="http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=9076&stc=1"</img> <A Href="http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111987">t</a> We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office Aesop. |
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