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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
07-11-05, 05:09 PM
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#1
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Classic
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Point of Life
IP: 0825 899A
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=198066
First step u born into a society that really don’t need you Cant see through mommas love, u think will never leave u Then Use innocence as a clutch cuz in one instance u rushed With possibilities in n’ open world right afta u finished ya lunch Developed in stages but presented in ages wen ya birthday is next Learned ways to flex around the rules but cannot save each step Materialistic from the start natures ways when u do good u receive What you would believe is obsolete cuz doin that u could deceive Forced to conform mentally conditioned into a modern state of mind If u late n’ behind disappoint shows its face now ya fate is inclined Education is the way to success, be healthy keep ya weight at a less Always sayin the best, pride is a privilege and never pay but invest Try to impress ya peers a need to be brave now descent with fear But when its near u protected by thinking… minds now lend a tear Congested with role models whom always impress there morals Having some to invest in collaboration leaving the rest in oral Some socially advanced some totally relaxed wit all different persos Nationalities differentiate n’ hate and now innocence hurt those Who oppose conventional ways dying for acceptance and heard no Warning of the ways of the world that suddenly approached them Encroached men who crossed invisible barriers are now disposin Of habits trying to change for a life that will eventually end Sent from a friend preaching religion will consensually amend The sins that are virtually non existen in the broader picture of life Now liftin there rights suddenly god given and persistent with sight Never born again just brain washed but content but sane’s lost With the same cost of death but now no fear as the pains tossed Grown older time to reminisce as u lay only under a roof No hope as u recognize all the lies used to cover the truth Then that day comes wen your eye level with your death bed See how lifes pointless, reach the top and theres no next step
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07-11-05, 06:24 PM
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#2
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Witness, 4 God, 4-Ever
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IP: 1CEA FD77
this was pretty good, good use of imagery and emotion, pretty good read, keep it up
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 i come from a time when you earned respect, for your rhyme and the way you made words connect, not the money that you made or the girls you sexed, a concept you obviously haven't heard of yet Mars Ill
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07-11-05, 08:51 PM
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#3
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Classic
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IP: 0825 899A
thx fo da feed uppin
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07-12-05, 05:29 PM
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#5
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IP: 0AE0 3B1A
This was a nice drop.. i was really feelin it .. nice drop..you had nice imagery..and good emotions... nice wordplay and vocab usuage..you had nice structure...good flow... some parts feel off ...but it overall was a good overall drop..keep it up ..
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The Competition
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07-12-05, 07:59 PM
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#6
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Classic
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IP: 3240 794D
thx errybody fo the feed
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07-12-05, 08:52 PM
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#7
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New to RV
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IP: C9D4 25E8
pretty good, nice flow and some good writing, damn your a girl??? crazy, anyways feeling this alot. you really showed how good of a writer you are, only thing i would say is try to be a bit more creative next time, but good read here indeed. nice
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07-16-05, 05:22 PM
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#8
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Classic
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IP: 0825 899A
^_____________^
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07-16-05, 05:46 PM
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#9
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~Real Rookie Of The Year~
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IP: 9B47 2AEF
Yeah this was deep as hell I liked the whole drop some very emotional stuff First Lady of R.A.W gone make Tony Green cry LoL but it was hot I give it a 8.5/10
rtf in my om "I Aint Fuckin Wit Cha" Nominate it for OM of the month j/p but it is hott! |
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07-16-05, 07:01 PM
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#10
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Champion
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IP: 5E8E 8BAB
Very good shit ma, liked the emotions and the vibes....really good 9/10...RTF to me and Tony Green "I aint fuckin wit cha"
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www.soundclick.com/dollaback
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07-16-05, 09:01 PM
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#11
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Bow Chicka Bow Wow
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IP: FEFC E273
cool keep it up
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07-16-05, 09:33 PM
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#12
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Banned
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IP: 658B CB6E
Flow was off at some points.....Decenbt rhyme sheme.Some suked like this one..
"Then Use innocence as a clutch cuz in one instance u rushed With possibilities in n’ open world right afta u finished ya lunch" ^^^1st line was ight....but secong suked.Seemed as though you made that 2nd line just to rhyme. Work on your metas a bit too. Overall....A good peice....I'd give it a 7.5/10 |
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