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Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio ![]() |
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Omnipresent
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Time for a Change
IP: C1DA C961
magnet - skiddz (average, but readable)
lose change - bruklor(nice read, heartwarming) Rising Star - Feeble Minded ( hot drop ) Im losing my grasp on reality Feeling engulfed by the growing abyss Im losing my sanity, but will it even be missed some say ignorance is bliss, as i reminesce i certainly come closer to this, conclusion this world is only an allusion, phony people, and artificial resolutions my umbilical cord to this hord is ecluding, signs alluding to higher levels of being, parousing lifestyles, searchin for one path to elevation finding nothing but falsities, hatred, and shallow approbation; Evanescent satiating gratification, while i crave suffrage of transcendent reformation My fervent urge exponentially increases beyond words It'll be either the death or success of me, whichever comes first |
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Omnipresent
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Re: Time for a Change
IP: C1DA C961
Quote:
sorry about the double post acidently clicked quote instead of edit..had to change a typo second edit..jus read that new or should i say old open mic rule that has been reinstated...didn't need to leave the three replies on top...o well Last edited by Davinity : 01-05-04 at 11:56 PM. |
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Eye Designs
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IP: 9DD0 3656
It was ok..
Some played concepts But overall it was ok.. Keep it up... Read others... It will help you elevate
__________________
:: Eye Designs:: Taking Request for the following... Signatures, Avatars, Album covers, & Website Banners |
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Word.
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IP: DD10 0DFF
Yeah this was alright here....your structure was ok, it could be better though, just watch your line length on some of your lines.....you had some good vocab though i thought....but overall this was alright...keep at it.
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Banned: Spamming
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IP: C1DA C961
..decent drop..I enjoyed this piece..a little different from the most...good concept...good vocab..flow was alright..overall..a nice drop...
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1E
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IP: 5AF5 5CA5
not bad...the flow could be improved... work on the syllables ya using.... but expansive use of vocab, i like that...... the concept didnt really hit.. but overall not bad...pZ
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Omnipresent
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IP: 4577 CD9A
up
__________________
Sublime
Worthy of awe and praise Respect "..Very nice..Very emotional...real Deep piece..I really enjoyed reading this..there are few good writers on this site..and I think they are good cause simply they write some good shit..but..rarely I enjoy reading a piece..but..this was fantastic..peace.."
<center>HemiSphere The Write Side Of Your Mind</center> <imgsrc=http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/attachmentid=8588&stc=1>
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Guest
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IP: 3273 E58A
I thought this was a decent peice, not great, but it was a good read.
Your stucture could use some work, line length and basic stuff. Vocab was on, multi's were there, An alright concept, didn't like it too much, though I never really like n e body's. over all this prob a 6/10 Stay up.......and hit my peaice Writers Block |
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De M-O-D Bruk
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IP: FDD6 AE15
was okay...5/10...need work...no flow..structure needs help..vocab was okay...elevate.
__________________
It's Gunna Be Some Stuff You Gon' See, That's Gunna Make It Hard To Smile In Da Future...
-Pac Shakur Acro Nim The Initial,Period I Speak Out Battles Pink Slips 007 Pt. 2 Fuck Bruklor aka Self.
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Omnipresent
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IP: 399E F0FD
appreiciate the constructive criticism...i understand this piece is average at best...i haven't dropped in a lil while..ok a long while...lil rusty
__________________
Sublime
Worthy of awe and praise Respect "..Very nice..Very emotional...real Deep piece..I really enjoyed reading this..there are few good writers on this site..and I think they are good cause simply they write some good shit..but..rarely I enjoy reading a piece..but..this was fantastic..peace.."
<center>HemiSphere The Write Side Of Your Mind</center> <imgsrc=http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/attachmentid=8588&stc=1>
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