RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 01-15-04, 01:35 PM   #1
FanTa ZeE
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Joined:
Status:
Text Record: 0-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
This Is How I Felt

IP: 7A38 2D7B

I smile to cover the pain i contain inside/
Driving me insane, to much cocaine i'm going wild/
Everything i gain is an illusion of the mind/
I've came too far along this road to look behind/
Rearveiw clouded with the legacy of my past/
Cock the clock, look how time went by so fast/
What i gotta do? just pull out a gun and blast/
Finger don't idle on the trigger,i'll breathe my last/
Surpassed, hell gained another soul/
Flippin rhymes in eternal fire, don't sense control/
Like a mole guarding his hole, I'm on patrol/
fulfilled my role, discovered the depth of the rabbit hole/
6 feet .. under they lay my corpse to rest/
Family laughing like this was their one request/
Fail to see my heart is bleeding in my chest/
Bleeding for the memories of childhood i never...had/
Didn't even get to see the face of my real...dad/
Maybe the truth is that this bitch was .. glad/
But in Gods eyes, does that make me a ..bad..girl/
Planted on a battlefield to watch the war un..furl/
Troops passed by fighting not once did see me cry/
To caught in in quarrel to see their daughter die/
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-04, 02:15 PM   #2
FanTa ZeE
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Joined:
Status:
Text Record: 0-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 7A38 2D7B

can i get a reeeeply!!

LMAO..only the English will get that one..

think.. Craaaig Daviid!
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-04, 02:25 PM   #3
Penskills
Banned: Spamming
 
Penskills's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,551
Joined: Dec 2003
From: ``Mahayana
Status: Offline
IP: 4577 CD9A

..Nice...Good flow through out the whole ryhme..good scheme and content..keep up the good work~
Send a message via ICQ to Penskills Send a message via AIM to Penskills   Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-04, 02:36 PM   #4
Trapt Wit
Fuck You, I'm Iller
 
Trapt Wit's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,561
Joined: Mar 2003
Status: Offline
Text Record: 3-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 843C 2CD1

Nice flow...
I'm more into your poetry however...

Please remove the /'s from the end of lines... it slightly detracts from the enjoyability of the piece...

Like I said... nice flow... not bad word usage..
Decent piece...

Check my piece when you get time "Day and Night"
__________________
<center>

Did I Beat You Before?
Yeah, Probably


-An Original RB Member: Yes, We're That Much Better-
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-15-04, 03:23 PM   #5
Verbatim
That's Right...I'm White
 
Verbatim's Avatar
 
Posts: 548
Joined: Dec 2002
From: Canada
Status: Offline
IP: 4600 51E6

Nice piece, Flow was definatly there, Vocab was pretty good, The rhyming was really good too, i saw you tried to through in rhyme in between the lines, like "contain and cocaine" anyway, nice drop overall, keep droppin peace

oh if ya wouldn't mind, could you check ou my latest, it's getting slept on big time, the link is in my sig, thanks

peace
Send a message via MSN to Verbatim   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-04, 07:01 AM   #6
FanTa ZeE
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Joined:
Status:
Text Record: 0-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 7A38 2D7B

yeah Krem i'll check it out..thanks for the replies and Trapt Wit is into my poetry? dayumm..really? wow...
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:55 PM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.