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Old 02-14-04, 01:29 PM   #1
baKn~Ruckus
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Posts: 23
Joined: Feb 2004
From: MiL-WuH-Kee
Status: Offline
Text Record: 1-2
Audio Record: 0-0
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~Moon Shyne

IP: 3C23 5077

Color reflexin, stress over takin, Ruckus is here~ take ya last breathe/
my footsteps treadin in new territory, unique style, u wonderin wats next/
not here ta act tough or be cocky, here ta spit an take ish off my chest/
cuz life of an mc is stressed, most of us do dis cuz its a way to self-express/
little boys at home watchin the tv, an intakin the ways of the street/
reshapin their mind, makin em think its the only way out, cuz they cant face defeat/
look it straight in the eyes and conquer, like bad dream u could never wake up from/
sleepin and dreamin, on the inside yur screamin, yur hood made u cold, no room for feelins/
only thing u got left is the pen and pad, sumtimes u dont even have dat/
dats wen ure mind turns void, so empty u dont kno wats wrong or right/
strapped in the streets, u can never sleep at night/
lookin up at tha moon an shinin its warm glow at me/
so much adrenaline pumps in veins, its like im runnin at a track meet/
backin, tryin ta win, but the guy in front is fast/
cant beat him, an slippin for a second, the race is lost/
my minds tired, i cant even feel my legs, over and done, other sites didn't like so they had me banned/
i aint askin for much, but show some appreciation, i aint the best ta spit on the mic, or write on the pad/
jus like ta speak my mind, even tho it amkes others mad/
rap for sum is ever lastin- for others its just a teenage fad/
u can choose yur path, but dont choose mine/


heh not my best, but it was quick an im tired from last night. hit me up wit sum honest opinions. peace
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Old 02-14-04, 07:22 PM   #2
Menik
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Posts: 2,017
Joined: Aug 2003
From: Mifflinburg, PA
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IP: B56F FD05

This was ok....the structure could be fixed up though i think, the lines were stretched out and it took away from the flow i thought, try to shorten them down a bit....Had some ok vocab....try adding some more multies to this to make it flow better....but keep at it.
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