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New to RB
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"thoughts" (rate this for me)
IP: 7BE2 A0A1
i know it's long, but please tell me what you think
its somethin i wrote while i was at school today (Verse 1) to many thoughts to many emotions/ so much negativity, to many bad notions/ my life wont elevate, stuck in a state of demotion// secretly seeking any piece of advice/ for a reason to keep livin and value one life/ to many screw ups, but i can't live twice/ livin so much wrong, suddenly payin the price// now the way that i think can manifest/ for the fact that my thoughts'll never rest/ i just walk through life only envying the best/ like a contest only full of hate and detest/ it's like, no wonder the world and its people lack so much respect/ and because of all the people subject to disrespect/ the only thing we're left to do is sit and vent// i try to see through what they call the real world/ its impossible, when you realize its reality unfurled// i'm still hit in the face with what the world's become/ i finally realized my problems are impossible to overcome/ i'm beginning to realize that with life i'm near done// i keep striving to live until i realize nothin's left/ only leading back to all the times i question where it went// all this shit comin up day after day doesn't fix it/ the only thing i hear from my family is get with it/ they wonder why i'm pissed, i just dont want life or to be in it/ i try and try to explain why i can't fix it, but they just dont get it// tryin to survive these troubles got me breakin a sweat/ but i still got people tellin me dont fret/ i can't help it, i'm scared of the next problem i'm gonna get// thats all my life is, is dealing and hoping/ questioning life, only healing and coping/ too much to handle, no feeling, no joking// tryin to lighten up, but its just not working/ i even try to use all this wording/ it comes close, but its still not working// (Chorus x3) we try to live but life's confusing/ we try to win, but we're still losing/ try to cry, but we're just refusing/ gonna dye, but its just amusing/ all these broken goals we're pursuing/ got us dyin to live, just left choosing/ (Verse 2) there's to many obstacles to over come them all/ they life's like a mountain, but for me its just a wall// life is the one real test that anyone can take/ it proves all the lies, cheats, and backstabbing fakes/ and lately there's barely any room for mistakes// leading to all these attempts at perfection/ crossing vein people stuck in your perception/ nowadays there's no such things as good deception// life's just the beginning, then come the contents/ intertwining with the wrong people, and screwed concepts/ we just walk around not caring, livin' crude precepts/ waiting to judge, dis, putdown, and annoy rejects// but you've never put on their shoes/ you never had to deal with all these wrong moves/ we try to infuse, but only confuse, when left to chose/ we see past the real facts, chosing to lose/ you people gotta understand, that its life itself we mis-use//// no matter what life does,we still gotta deal with it/ life throws obstacles, thas why we should commit to it/ but when we have problems we barely even admit to it// no matter how much you wanna blow up and fight it/ no matter what anger you got, you can't ignite it// people get the wrong ideas, and have no understanding/ nowadays, the world owes so much every question is demanding// so now we're stuck with dealing/ with the same old crap, regaining bad feelings/ still left with the process of repealing the feelings/ that gave us so much trouble, left us concealing// there's no way around, we gotta keep going/ there's no way around, thats why i keep flowing/ i dont give up tryin to solve these problems i'm undergoing/ cuz in the end, i'm the one that keeps growing//// (Chorus x3)
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New to RB
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IP: C1DA C961
i know its long, but, i'd really like some feedback
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The Topical Juggernaut
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IP: C531 1B40
Deep shit Cat...The flow was shaky in parts; Mostly in the begining...but you brought it back an' kept with it. Basic Vocab and wordplay, You used alot of the same words over and over...some that stick out: Choice/Chose - It... Try ta' Expand on those areas...Structure was ok, Nice drop over all.
Peace.
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Blow It - Topical -=Respect List=-
Crhyme Sindicate ![]() The unexamined life is not worth living.
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New to RB
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IP: 4289 77F4
thanx for the comments man
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