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Old 09-27-04, 07:24 PM   #1
Cocaine
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Text Record: 31-5
One Last Kiss

IP: 7D7A FF3D

First Attempt at poetry..

From day one i always knew that love was my main purpose..
and i have been doing just that since i have been walkin the earths surface
now we are holding hands palms sweaty she knows im nervous..
but i gotta tell her the truth theres no way she deserves this...

so i hold her tight.. whisper in her ear.. that something just not right..
contemplating suicide.. and if she doesnt leave i will be taking her life...
she said " no this can't be" and thats when i took out that knife..
three thrusts to the breast... their goes.. my future wife...

as i look at my bloody hands i wonder whyit had to be like this..
our love was so warm and tender.. thats something i will miss...
she didnt believe me... and got in the way of danger took the risk..
so i lean towards her bloody body.. and give my pregnant fiance...

One Last Kiss....
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Old 09-27-04, 09:06 PM   #2
fluidmoon
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wow, damn homey, this was a good drop, a little eery, but well written for your first poem, keep em comin, i'm intrigued....pc
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Old 09-27-04, 09:11 PM   #3
Cocaine
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lmao yeah i realized once i read it over that it was a little weird.. lmao im gonna stick with this poetry stuff..

keep the feed coming
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Old 09-27-04, 09:43 PM   #4
.Judicial.
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damn...returnin da feedback to ya....some nice shit right hurr....big upps......
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Old 09-28-04, 05:22 PM   #5
Cocaine
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uppin for feed..
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Old 09-28-04, 05:50 PM   #6
huggy_bear
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holy shit homie, that shit is tight, makes me like think aobut taht shit and stuff..... nice drop///
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Old 09-28-04, 11:19 PM   #7
Valor
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you this however was a half decent poem man...better from the father figure poem.this is actually a poem lol...it had imagery,emotion as well as the thought put into this peace.....nice job man keep at it
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Old 09-29-04, 12:08 PM   #8
blazinlilmami
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oh shit man wasnt expectin it to take that turn in the middle but hey it was really good so keep it up aight lata playa
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Old 09-29-04, 01:47 PM   #9
~Lady Fiya~
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this is ur first poem, but it's written well, very nice and good concept..... this ya girl fiya..

best lines:
so i hold her tight.. whisper in her ear.. that something just not right..
contemplating suicide.. and if she doesnt leave i will be taking her life...
she said " no this can't be" and thats when i took out that knife..
three thrusts to the breast... their goes.. my future wife...
^really nicely put..^
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Old 09-29-04, 02:04 PM   #10
Ice Pick
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Dope

Loved The Whole Murder Scene

Keep Droppin This

Eery Ass Poetry

On The Murda Tip

Loved It
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