Battle Rules:

16-30 lines
No Crew Votes
No Recycling
No Biting

Topic: Hell On Earth

keep it real and accept got 5 days after check in...

-Parallel

Minimum posts to vote: 709

Check in by: 01-19-05 at 12:13 AM

Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in.

Damian has ACCEPTED this battle on 01-16-05 12:15 AM.

•Para¶el• has ACCEPTED this battle on 01-16-05 04:49 PM.

only vote if you understand the concepts of a topical alright! heres it is:

I smell murder and see fire at every single corner
Im the only human been ready to defeat the evil genie
Evil genie is not specificaly the satan,its all us women and men
were like bee's and cinanum,we dont fit,we dont understand
The topic is usaly used to imagine a tragic shit
Speaking the truth talking about democatrick and alcoholick
Bush is actually the real demon dat we need to stop right?
Without him the light could shine bright,cuz sky is gray,war is on
No ones perfect,no ones great,errbody hates,life's a mistake
So finaly Hell On Earth is already created,stoping it while im alive
Its like a Tv reality show,its live,in front of your eyes,
Open it so you could realise,thats why im here just to try
This could be easy as pie,youd be surprise,just open ur mind
get by and apply,before i die i want to wish you a kiss you goodbye
I dream of a perfect world so i could call this topic"paradise on earth"
Dream of a new world could birth,its worth,try it,im tired
make it realise and admire the desire dat you just created
So wake up and stop hell even tho its hard,even tho i hate it

upiimmnn..........................................

nice drop fam....checking the polls...............

•Para¶el•: storyline was good,stayed on topic very well. Vocab was good, had good balance between complex and basic. Emotion was there, maybe you could've had more indepth imagery. It felt as if you only gave the global look on it, didn't dug any deeper for more emotional (perhaps even personal) experiences.But overall,this was a good drop...Flow n structure were tight,described everything quite well...good job!

[b]Damian[/b: fix your structure,it'll be easier to read and feel your flow. Vocab was good, emotion was raw. Nice approach of the topic, gave some more personal views on it which I liked.Not always feeling your flow,had nice multis here and there,good imagery,vivid way to describe everything. Good drop!

This is a close battle so I'm going to go with the drop I was feeling just a little more...and that's •Para¶el•.No hate to Damian cause you had a nice verse too! Good battle people!

(can't vote unfortunately)

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checkin polls. Good verse Damian.

And you Parallel

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thanks....but i would like soem votes.............

^Shouldn't have put the posts that high, it's hard to get any votes on topicals as it is...But good job though, hope you get some votes...or i'll hurry to get to those 709 posts

DQ

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Voted For: •Para¶el•

give this one to this home boy becuase I followed his topic very well you had some good stuff also but is sounded like poetry more to me then a topical. The multis the vocab and the wordplay is what helped u get this vote from me and most of all you had no stretched lines no beef just keep elevating.

i give ya a 8/10

hit up on my links peace

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vs super

http://community.rapverse.com/showb...918915&posted=1

ya i know your a good voter and you knwo what your talking about but theres lto of cats even over 700 posts that dont know wtf there saying so iunnno...

Voted For: •Para¶el•

alrite this in the end was an easy decision for me to make....

parallel was superior to dam in this battle, para has elevated well in topicals recently n came wiv a nice verse here...

para - flow was dope n neva went off point, structure good, vocab i liked alot and i felt a gud degree of emotion in there, good stuff fam

dam - neva seen ya do topicals before n this was o.k but i didnt think it rhymed very well first off....example =

'Evil genie is not specificaly the satan,its all us women and men
were like bee's and cinanum,we dont fit,we dont understand'

^^^this doesn't rhyme....structure n emotion were o.k but out classed here, keep elevating

pz

can y'all hit this topical battle wiv final, thx...
http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=170089

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