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03-21-05, 12:37 AM | #1 | |||||
in your system
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A New Life: from Kesse
IP: 9E2F CDE8
A New Life its a cold winters day, so much mayhem, and my sanity is not elastic this is driving me crazy, how long must i remain trapped in traffic the screaming of horns pounds my head as my window is stuck open body numb and frozen...try to turn up the heat but it seems to be broken and i can hear the engine choking...but up ahead the light turns green my car stops completely...hundreds of angry motorists now begin to scream as i step out of my car, garbage and vulgarity fly by at a rapid pace i pop the hood...looks to be a dead battery, which i can't afford to replace i stand up to see a coffee strike my face, leaving me dripping with rage its like god is writing my life, but right now he's ripping the page i manage to cross the street to a 7/11, head to the bathroom, lock the door drop on the floor, want to pray to god, but all i can think is 'fuck that whore' as i sit in the corner, my senses seem to fail as my whole body is cold my mind is slipping....and my grip on life, it seems i no longer have hold thoughts of suicide now begin to flood my sub-conscious, relieving me of pain lost all faith, "only if you stand before me now will you have me believing again" i flip out my pocket knife...."are you happy now?", my life can't get any worse so i place the cold metal to my wrist, to finally put an end to my curse but at that moment, a small ringing starts emitting from my jacket pocket i put the knife down....pull out my cell phone, wipe the tears from my sockets my wife had been in the hospital, the doctor told me it was an emergency i needed to get there immediately, he claimed my presence was an urgency i rushed out to the street, grabbing the first taxi cab i could find clarity back to my mind, my wife awaited with my life, death could wait in line only a ten minute drive to clinic, but i threw down a hundred on the seat i am filled with enlightenment...and once again my body attune to heat a total change of emotion can happen instantly when youre devoted to the ones you love when you feel that extra surge of confidence and strength, like someone really is above standing infront of my wife's room....i almost let it get to me, this crazy world but we have the rest of our lives now to spend together...along with our new baby girl
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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03-21-05, 12:38 AM | #2 | |||||
in your system
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IP: 9E2F CDE8
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=182833
^ there be my link....yarrrgh, lets get some feed
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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03-21-05, 02:15 PM | #3 | |||||
in your system
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IP: 9E2F CDE8
fuck bitches.....read it!
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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03-21-05, 04:26 PM | #4 | |||||
in your system
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IP: 9E2F CDE8
i see 8 people have viewd....what, can't someone read something more than 10 lines.......BAHH
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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03-21-05, 04:31 PM | #5 | |||||||
Banned: Cheating
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IP: 8A1A D0A3
some good stuff dawg
keep it up |
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03-21-05, 06:04 PM | #6 | |||||
in your system
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IP: 9E2F CDE8
more...............
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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03-21-05, 08:36 PM | #7 | |||||
in your system
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IP: 9E2F CDE8
....................feed me
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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03-22-05, 04:21 PM | #8 | |||||
in your system
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IP: 9E2F CDE8
feed or i will kill you all
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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03-22-05, 09:36 PM | #9 | |||||
in your system
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IP: 9E2F CDE8
upp this...............
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE Last edited by Kesse : 03-23-05 at 02:19 AM. |
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03-23-05, 01:41 AM | #10 | ||||
Better than you..
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IP: 01C3 560C
eh...i read it and it doesnt really look like rap to me. its a good story man, and it rhymed. so props for that. i think tho that maybe you should try to actually write raps. i dunno. why you getting no feedback? its because your not writing rap and your story wasnt even interesting. try to be more creative with your shit. i write for mixtapes and shit so when i am writing i try to think what are people gonna really like to listen whats some dope idea or situation i can capture and make it dope so people are gonna wanna bang it in their car n shit. thats my views. try not to take them the wrong way because it is constructive.
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..ADLIB..
Spit it from the heart, spit a thousand darts, split ya head apart…
Emcees depart, like rubin carter my hurricane left u scarred… Like a spiked bat grammatical bar, like a wonderland drug… Tumble - ing like a flagon of rum and 2 blunts, like the funk baby… |
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03-23-05, 02:23 AM | #11 | |||||
in your system
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IP: 9E2F CDE8
yeah, but basically im into topical writing now....i probly will never end up writing actual rap, but i see what you're saying and it doesn't matter, i just like to write, i can even use your criticism in my future writings, so yeah, word to that....gotta make stuff more interesting....but yeah, this was more of a non-rap om, so i guess i could put it in poetry or sump, word
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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