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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
08-28-05, 06:41 PM
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#1
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Mad Knight & Sabotage - Stained Glass Pain
IP: 68F3 D87D
Sabotage=Green Mad Knight= Red Take a glance out to the sky reminding me of the times Broken spirit. Crying out to God. But could he hear it? You could see in my eyes. Tears pouring out the side Like waterfalls of despair. Never ceasing to dry No peace in my mind. A storm. Clouds stagnant. Know what I mean? My mom kicked me out the house into the streets at 15 Stuck on the block. Disregarding my family that left me Got all the money I desired yet inside I felt empty Doubted survival. Foes and rival's. Drowning like trout. But in sorrow. Life incomplete like a ball with no bounce Experiences a metaphor of trauma. That made my rage I'll never be able to see out the window of this Stained Glass Pain At home all alone looking through the window at the atmosphere No place in my mind for fear,arguing parents will I stand here What my life’s going to be like when at the age of 6 im torn apart Love took away from my heart,my loved granddad had to depart Grandad I could turn to u in times past,looking thru windows blood stained But things were gained but when I turned to God it was still unexplained Fending for myself cuz my dad and me wernt the best together What ever the weather all the smalls I did made you bust ya tether The survival of the streets ain’t gangsta,its all pain and anguish Beat up to many times to remember,put through all the languish I should be sipping champagne not on the corner selling cocaine Life to short to be explained…. …….I'll never be able to see out the window of this Stained Glass Pain Wow my 3rd OM of the day maybe a record there hint hint http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=206190 http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=206459 |
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08-28-05, 06:50 PM
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#2
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A Life Of Chryme
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IP: 7BE2 A0A1
very nice piece fam!...i felt the concept, good flow....nice emotion...good imagery.....felt both verses were onpoint keep postin great collab! 7.5/10.....rtf on my o/m's in my sig
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A LIFE OF CHRYME |
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08-28-05, 07:05 PM
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#3
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Torching You All
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IP: 3240 794D
Yo Emotion Was Real Good In Both Verses For Sure Mad Knight Came With Some Good Imagery Here So Did Sabotage, Vocabulary Verse Nice. Multi's Both Came With Some Meta's Both As Well. Structure Was Perfectly Fine The Way It Was I Think This Was A Good Collab For Real Man.
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Need Feed
Lord, Forgive Me Ft Sabotage Something Like That-Ft Torch Summer Nights-Ft Troch Super G's Ft Oreo The Council
We'll Make You Eat Your Words. Plus We've Got Ho's. |
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08-28-05, 07:30 PM
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#4
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IP: 68F3 D87D
Thanx bump .
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08-28-05, 09:32 PM
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#5
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-BTR-
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IP: 68F3 D87D
upping for feed.
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08-29-05, 07:56 AM
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#6
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IP: 68F3 D87D
Bump .
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08-29-05, 08:58 AM
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#7
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Odi et Amo
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IP: 82A5 4BFD
Feeling the overall concept, might have been done before but still it's interesting. I felt both were seperate stories which is okay though. Both had a strong emotion in their verses, this topic allowed you to use a lot of that and you both did that as well. Also the imagery was on point: sabotage had a more poetic vibe to it where as Mad Knight had the clear vivid imagery. Flow was good in both as well as vocab and such.
Keep it up!
__________________
Authentik Intelligence  ...The future is mine... |
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08-29-05, 07:40 PM
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#8
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IP: 68F3 D87D
thanx
bump. |
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08-31-05, 03:03 AM
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#9
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-BTR-
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IP: 3240 794D
uppin this right here.
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08-31-05, 12:38 PM
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#10
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Middle Weight
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IP: 8A05 210E
damn u 2 really collab nicely on diz here i like y'all overall concept fa sho tha creativity, originality really was wut stood out 2 me in diz piece, meta's were hittin on tha spot, structure was good, & emotion 4 both people was G'd up no doubt keep writing fa sho
RTF: http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=198419
__________________
 Choose words carefully when you address me
You ain't gotta like me, but you're gonna respect me (Or else) or else you get wet like a jigsknee Take ten of these and live, that'll impress me Last edited by Payn : 08-31-05 at 12:44 PM. |
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09-03-05, 05:38 AM
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#11
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-BTR-
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IP: 7BE2 A0A1
uppin this right here. and thanks to everyone that left some feed.
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