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09-17-05, 11:04 AM | #1 | |||
1926
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"Beneath The Hourglass"
IP: 3240 794D
Another day under works thumb, a slave.
Same shit just another way I complain. Jump up to take a letter up stairs, "Damn Elevator," guess I'm taking the stairs. Each step a labor as I trudge up past the first floor... Up at the twenty first at last, Im there. Huff past the desk executives where not a worry bares. They care less of my presance, 'I'm Sure He' stares filter the air. Ya thats what they're thinking, it's know. The mail cart holds more status then those making it go. *Starting Back Down Stairs* Someone smiles at me... Please, what a fake. A smile backed by the meaning, 'Just Take These, Bring This' that and the other, blah blah blah. Mother fucker! My lips nearly bleed seazing a song of a- *EXPLOSIONS RING OUT!!! The wall to my left I find no longer all set. Sounds of rubble's fall rips all of our chests. As a heart race breaks that wich cages, I drop, start to crawl through all the brick sages. Look for the business man... Where!?! THERE IS HIS HAND!!! His Briddle Reminance Settled Below A Bolders Stiff Stance. *In Awe, Before Rushing To Escape The Crumbling Building* Black burns scar the walls, wires transpire to capture. As this rush swims a river rapid as my eyes meet the rafter. Forsee it's collapse soon to fallow, asume possition, grasp my head as an end seems more than a fiction. *Knocked Out/Wakes Up 2 Hours Later* Was its a dre-, "AAAAAAH!" from within a scream rips its way from the bowels of self out into the breaze. Cant move my leg. Then I notice im wedged between rooms. Whole sides of an oposite bowed in to kiss each's whomb, only to birth a crippled youth who sits in the towers of ash. Living under the bricks, as inocence drips from under the hourglass. . . . . . . 'Nicholas Delaney 1982-2001'
9/11 Did All But Save Him. --------------------------------------------------------------- Links: http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=208632 http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=203377 |
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09-18-05, 01:38 PM | #2 | |||
1926
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IP: 3240 794D
... Nobody Loves Me Anymore
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09-18-05, 06:36 PM | #3 | |||||||
Under Oath
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Nice Drop
IP: 4540 25A9
Well done, very nice drop
Another day under works thumb, a slave. Same shit just another way I complain. ^^ Very deep, almost can relate Jump up to take a letter up stairs, "Damn Elevator," guess I'm taking the stairs. Each step a labor ^^ Nice meta 8/10 as I trudge up past the first floor... Up at the twenty first at last, Im there. Huff past the desk executives where not a worry bares. They care less of my presance, 'I'm Sure He' stares filter the air. Ya thats what they're thinking, it's know. The mail cart holds more status then those making it go. *Starting Back Down Stairs* Someone smiles at me... Please, what a fake. A smile backed by the meaning, 'Just Take These, Bring This' that and the other, blah blah blah. Mother fucker! My lips nearly bleed seazing a song of a- ^^^^ I diden't get this very much at all Although it rymed i still diden't quite understand maybe it's just me....... *EXPLOSIONS RING OUT!!! The wall to my left I find no longer all set. Sounds of rubble's fall rips all of our chests. As a heart race breaks that wich cages, I drop, start to crawl through all the brick sages. Look for the business man... Where!?! THERE IS HIS HAND!!! His Briddle Reminance Settled Below A Bolders Stiff Stance. ^^^^ Very good i liked how it ran together 8/10 *In Awe, Before Rushing To Escape The Crumbling Building* Black burns scar the walls, wires transpire to capture. As this rush swims a river rapid as my eyes meet the rafter. Forsee it's collapse soon to fallow, asume possition, grasp my head as an end seems more than a fiction ^^^^^ That was my favorite verse.....10/10 Excellent.... *Knocked Out/Wakes Up 2 Hours Later* Was its a dre-, "AAAAAAH!" from within a scream rips its way from the bowels of self out into the breaze. Cant move my leg. Then I notice im wedged between rooms. Whole sides of an oposite bowed in to kiss each's whomb, only to birth a crippled youth who sits in the towers of ash. "Living under the bricks, as inocence drips from under the hourglass. <------Perfect closer 9/10 I really liked this piece atticus very emotional...we should collaborate..... Thesinnister rtf . |
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09-18-05, 07:20 PM | #4 | |||
1926
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IP: 3240 794D
Thanks Alot For The Feedback
... And Arent You On C.S. Or Some Shit? Just Get At Me In There, Pick A Topic And Give Me Line Lims And I'll Be Done In A Day Tops. ... And I'll Return The Favor In A Few. |
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