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View Poll Results: Who won this battle?
.Lola Cruez. II 5 100.00%
Stanza 0 0%
Voters: 5. You may not vote on this poll

 
 
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Old 08-17-05, 09:32 PM   #1
Black Queen
Classic
 
Black Queen's Avatar
 
Stanza vs .Lola Cruez. II

IP: 28AD 5545

Battle Rules:

20 Lines
No Crew Votes
No Recycling
No Biting
Blah Blah Blah yall kno da rules

Topic: View From Above

G'd Luck

Minimum posts to vote: 20

Check in by: 08-20-05 at 09:32 PM

Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in.

Win by forfeit
 
Old 08-20-05, 04:20 PM   #2
System
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
IP: 7BE2 A0A1

Stanza has ACCEPTED this battle on 08-20-05 04:20 PM.
 
Old 08-20-05, 05:09 PM   #3
Stanza
Banned: Biting
 
From: NC
IP: 3240 794D

..:: The View From Above ::..

The View From Below Was Quite Obsene
But Now That I Look At The View From A Higher Scene
I See That The Grass Is Not All That Green
On This Side Ill Change My Direction And Lean
To The Correct Side Or Level That I am On
I've been Watchin Every Since Dusk Turn Dawn
I Look Down At What I Was And What I Am
Is A Man Lookin For A Way Out Of This Scram
And Scams Of Life That Clog My Mind
To The Point Where I Over Used My Time
Writting Lines As I Look At The View From Above
I Couldnt Catch The Clues With a Glove
So Now I Cry Because I Miss My Love
Feelin Deep In Soul Like A Soap In The Tub
This View Isnt Pleasant I Thought it Would Be Nice
To Have a Rich Life, No Kids, And a House Wife
But Now I See That it is Lonely When Youre At The Top
Because Noone Can Reach This Peak Or Spot
So As I Sit and Wonder About Many Lossed Loves
I'll Meditate In Depression Lookin At The View From Above

Its Lonely At The Top
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Old 08-20-05, 07:13 PM   #4
System
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
IP: D477 E710

.Lola Cruez. II has ACCEPTED this battle on 08-20-05 07:13 PM.
 
Old 08-22-05, 05:21 PM   #5
Stanza
Banned: Biting
 
From: NC
IP: 7BE2 A0A1

DOnt NoShow Man ......................Come on man !!
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Old 08-22-05, 05:25 PM   #6
Dervla
Poet's Daughter.
 
Dervla's Avatar
 
IP: E7AE 8A61

I got plently of time...............................
__________________
mystery Is a Freak!!

ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life.
Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8
ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do.
Smartone Freal:
ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol
Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u
Smartone Freal:
ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol
Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private
ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged*
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Old 08-23-05, 07:06 PM   #7
Dervla
Poet's Daughter.
 
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IP: E2F9 A45B

Roses blooming beautifully showing their fine divine pedals
Happiness everywhere, smile on kids faces as they giggle
A sudden change in the air, that shifted everyone emotions
black clouds started forming, the hot sun away it motioned
silence erupts by the groaning noises everyone is making
Disgusted looks on everyone faces, is it sick their getting?
Gasped and mouths drops as they look upon in the sky
Screams started to give off. As they ran with their walleye
It wasn't Rain that was falling, it was something more horrible
The earth was about to become a wasteland. Down it crumble

Holding tight onto his knees so hard, moaning loud in agony
room is getting stony, holding his breath, face bleeding like acne
Eyes getting red, wondering in his head how long this will take?
Bending over, tears streaming cause of the pain of his stomach ache
Breathing now like bound to have a baby, quiet vocals turn to scream
*whew* out it comes, windows in front of thee filled with hot steams
*ahhhhh* my eye's widen in horror "what have I done?" bout to faint
The gurgle noise of the Toilet disappears, my emotions show's quaint
can't stop it. Down it goes...to where god creatures stays on this planet
Earth is the name, little brown droplets starts to pour, no it's not
.................................................. .................................................. .....Rainy chocolate
__________________
mystery Is a Freak!!

ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life.
Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8
ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do.
Smartone Freal:
ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol
Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u
Smartone Freal:
ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol
Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private
ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged*
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Old 08-23-05, 07:12 PM   #8
Dervla
Poet's Daughter.
 
Dervla's Avatar
 
IP: E2F9 A45B

Word...God shitted on you......Lol......Uppin........
__________________
mystery Is a Freak!!

ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life.
Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8
ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do.
Smartone Freal:
ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol
Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u
Smartone Freal:
ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol
Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private
ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged*
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Old 08-23-05, 10:59 PM   #9
noname
Coming to Kill you All
 
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This was feedback posted for .Lola Cruez. II

IP: 617A B73E

pollzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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Old 08-24-05, 12:38 AM   #10
snipes
RV aint Dead
 
From: Chicago
This was feedback posted for Stanza

IP: F8B3 D1DB

pollllllllllllls just checking da polllllllllllllllllls
__________________
 
Old 08-24-05, 03:43 PM   #11
Dervla
Poet's Daughter.
 
Dervla's Avatar
 
IP: C87D 3738

Uppin............................................. .....
__________________
mystery Is a Freak!!

ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life.
Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8
ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do.
Smartone Freal:
ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol
Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u
Smartone Freal:
ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol
Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private
ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged*
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Old 08-25-05, 09:32 PM   #12
Stanza
Banned: Biting
 
From: NC
IP: 0825 899A

--------------------------------------------------------------------
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Old 08-25-05, 09:45 PM   #13
BloodVenom
New to RV
 
From: Queens
IP: D8AB D7AB

Voted For: .Lola Cruez. II

Stanza-Ok...flow was defenity where you shined.Stayed constant throughout the whole verse.Vocab was "blah".I don't know if you were tryna make it funny..but it wasn't.....so I assume the concept you had was..lonelness at the top.And for that type of topic..you need to be emotional n shit.Yours wasn't.It seemed to be too basic with execution.Decription and shit was mediocre.I'm just being honest....work on wording.Cause I didn't sense a trace of imajery or emotion in it.Flow was the best thing you had.....

LoLA-Creative topic.God taking a shit?...nice job with that..Vocab n shit was on point. Imajery Emotion..... w/e.....it was all there.Only thing was that flow was off at some points.I noticed a couple of lines didn't even rhyme.And that's a no-no.Make every line rhyme.And learn to compress the lines so that only the core is left.Kinda like battlin..you can't have filler...in this..you can't have too much unessary shit.And I noticed your wording itself was a lil bland.When readin it..some lines...just seemes to sound weird coming after the other one.Take the 1st 3 lines for example...poor wording as the lines sounded odd when coming after another.

Overall-Stanza has a far better flow in this battle..But everything else LoLa had . Creativity , Imajery, Emotion .. blah-blah...all belonged to her.

Vote-LoL Cruez
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Old 08-26-05, 10:36 PM   #14
Black Queen
Classic
 
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This was feedback posted for Stanza

IP: 3240 794D

ya kno checkin this out...........................
__________________

 
Old 08-27-05, 04:46 PM   #15
Stanza
Banned: Biting
 
From: NC
IP: 0825 899A

.................................................. .................
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