I no this site is pretty big on structure the classic style
ex:
sdfsdfsdf/
sdfsdfsdf//
i wrote this piece a while back and my reg style before i switched to that style ^^
if applicable could u look past the structure and read the content, flow...etc...
thanks
=====
The Crecent and the Cross

To Thou Reader:
If you're reading this, be aware of extremely potent and controversial lyrics/content.

"The Flesh and Blood......With the Thesis Of Jesus" --One Of Two Chapters
"...Then he took the cup, gave thanks and offered it to them, saying, "Drink from it, all of you. this is my blood of the convenant which is poured out for so many for the forgiveness of sins. I tell you, I will not drink of this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when i drink it anew wit you in my fathers kingdom.." -Matthew 26:27-29 (N.I V)[

Lemme open your eyes....The growth of Arabian Islam threatens feudal Europe in the early 1000's, where the Christian leaders were rich, corrupt and had more power then kings. Christian Europe feared the growth of Islam and its aurora of peace and way of living, because the Byzantinian Empire was shrinking and soon vanished. Roman Catholicism was the only stronghold at this time in Europe. For the fear of themselves losing power, Pope Urban II preached nobility and an act of miracles and blessings upon the European kings to attack the Holy Land and take it for their religion.He promised to forgive them of their sins and admit them to HEAVEN WITH NO FAULTS FOR THEIR ACTS! Given money and land to the noblemen as collateral, the European Christians set off for their fight for the Holy Land and shed the blood of innocence to spread the name of Jesus....BY THE SWORD AND MACE!...

[On June 15, 1095.....Traveling In The Desert to the Holy Land]
The times dark when the lords black: they march in on forced tracks: their armor leaves em arched in on horseback while their tounges rub their lips parched wit their course plaque//
With Orders in forced-yaps! so they can raise their gauntlets! a cross praised n flaunted!,knights raised as rotton while sweat stains their cottons,their brains are haunted wit da greed to get fame thats wanted//
its lame but brought in to see the tame so daunted....runnin armed wit swords n lances to leave goards in transfix as they gore their hands quik, all this cuz they never gave the Lord some chances?!//
The horde then chants thick...as they run full force to ransack the city with plans tracked that gritty to stab the children and slam smack the pretty, shit was just more of a mans act of pity//
stand back that empty!!! lets witness another paladin mount off his horse and slice a mans neck and dice his hands crest to vice this clans rep!! the warmth of Christ's love has now iced this fans chest//
it guised his plans nest...to allow the spread of a political religion for a minimal condition to alter their physical renditions!!//

[.The Popes Voice Rings In The NobleMans Ears:Kill Them ALL!! God Knows His Own!!...(The Pope Said This About A Question Asked to What SHould the NobleMen Should Do About the Arabs that Are Christians.....And Look Like Everyone Else)....]
..
..
The guardian angels there are losin the fight:the demons laugh mused at the sight while the local coroners refusin to write//
excusin their plights cuz this 'crossed' pope's abusin his rights to infuse to these blights to kill and recuse in the night//
confused in the spite as crusaders slay down the population from the loose to the tight as da innocent souls cruise in the height//
Ares's soothed at their might as the muslims blood floods on the streets while the flat sides of their swords cause thuds in the weak/
tears jut as they speak while the plasma splits in the cuts as they stream and the blood shoots and spuds on their cheeks//
The village dubbed as the meek! it burns to ounce of daze! as we count the ways, n pound in craze to weigh out the pounds of slain//
Screams are the sounds that reign while crimson just mounds in stains.Walk on the red water?! nah folks Jesus drowned that day//
......
Bloods Thicker then Water!
..
.
This should open your eyes, my young friends. While many people are quick to point the fingers saying that Muslims are savages and barbaric people. But in reality, people should look at their peoples roots and history. You have much to reflect on, if you're one of those people to procrastinate. Muslims in general are in the lime light now though.....But back then it was your people. Dont point the finger....think, no religion is better then the other.....before damning Islam, read about the very history of your people. NO RELIGION IS BETTER THEN THE OTHER, as long as you have faith and heart in somethin higher then yourself and your petty material. Remain conscious and live amongst that Allah, God, Yahweh gave you. And to my muslim readers as well as my fellow christian readers...this is not a bash to Christianity.... i have proclaimed that we are all equal and have a right to heaven, im opening your eyes....to see that prejudice amongst both our people and religions are wrong. Please stay aware of yourself as well as your beliefs and others, we all have had trying times, and times of disapointment. Stay up my friends.

-Your Neighborhood Poet-
MetaPhySIkZ aka Phonetixs aka Rhyme of Reason
===
2 links:
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2570631
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2570642

__________________

uppin for feed/crit
would be appreciated
=)
`1

__________________

uppin for feed/crit
would be appreciated
=)
`1
__________________

__________________

i just finished giving feedback on your other shit and i was like damn and this one is just as good as the other one......9.5/10

can you R/F and vote honestly in this battle

http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=215011

thanks man, ill get at ur link in a few...
`1

__________________

Ima bout to goto the movies with my Wife man, tonight i'll have this lit up with some feedback. Appreciate the feed you left me. You have my word all your shit will be gettin' some food when I get back.

Peace.

__________________
Blow It - Topical

thanks fam
greatly appreciated
`1

__________________

upz?!
lol
uppin for that feed
`1

__________________

Leavin' it now.

__________________
Blow It - Topical

Same concept as my Piece, Warriors of God. I liked your way of comming at it. Yah, the structure was a little fucked, but oh well. The content was worth the read. Man, chains of multies, and they wernt just random words like some folks on this site throw down to make it sound good.

My favorite lines were:



^ Every word writen is truth.

People rant and rave about death tolls in the 1900's. Man, most have no fucking idea what Urban the II started. During the five crusades christians SLAUGHTERED the shit outa the jews and muslims.

Anyways, dope drop despite the structure.

I would suggest upping the vocab a bit, dropping the slang in some areas, restructuring in the future (I know it is an old piece) but maintain the flow you had going when you were actually doing it, the two italic verses.

Keep it up man.

Peace.

__________________
Blow It - Topical

werd man thanks
yea it was an oldie style and different approach to it
i changed my steez around for topicals etc....
thanks for the feed man...
greatly aprpeciated
`1

__________________