This is one of those bulletin chain letters from Myspace, lets take a look...

First, note the all capital letters, meant for emphasis...

WHEN YOU ALREADY START READING THIS
DONT STOP OR ELSE SUMTHIN BAD WILL HAPPEN .....
MY NAME IS Kirk Kahler ... (Notice how it's spelled well and not all caps, this is an actual name, probably from the herb who wrote this)
I AM 45 YEARS OLD
WITH MASSIVE PUBIC LICE (massive pubic lice? doesn't exist, but meant to be scary)
AND A TIGHT PURPLE SWEATER.
I HAVE A TWO INCH PENIS.
AND I DON`T KNOW HOW TO MASTURBATE. (obviously a lie, all guys can do that, even if they are paralyzed, its a reflex, not a skill)
I HAVE NO LEFT FOOT OR EARS.
I AM DEAD. (this makes a lot of sense, because dead people often visit myspace, right? no, actually, they just added this on cuz it made it more scary)
IF U DO NOT REPOST THIS IN THE NEXT 5 MIN.,
I WILL APPEAR TONIGHT BY YOUR BED (what if we don't have a bed? aha! this is obviously a hoax)
WITH A FUCKING CAN OPENER AND WILL MAKE YOU HELP ME MASTURBATE. (a can opener, bitch, you cant even jack off, i'm sure a can opener won't be much help)
THIS IS NO JOKE
SOMETHING GOOD WILL HAPPEN TO U TONIGHT AT 10:22. SOMEONE WILL CALL U
OR TALK TO U ON THE INTERNET (because satisfaction obviously envelopes calls, masterbation, and internet chats, DUH!)
REPOST THIS WITH THE WORD EWWWWWWWW!!! (because thats how we all feel)

__________________

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